Be afraid, be very very afraid.Thats how Sachin Tendulkar likes to treat failure, i'm assuming over the years he's built up his courage for his recent form.The defintion of fear which to me makes a lot of sense is, fear is courage that has said its prayers.It does make fear look inevitable, inevitably, that it is.Lets talk about things that really scare me, we are talking about methi pakoda's, watermelon milkshakes and the top of the league stuff.Indian team losing to bangadesh, na not scared of that.Some supergeek trying to take over the world , na not scared of that either.Waking up one day to see am Brad Pitt, that should scare Brad not me.
There are things i'm really afraid of, lets talk about the China - North Korea love affair.China is a scary place, they invest $ 150 billion in infrastructure development every year ( roads, buildings, bridges etc , a lot of them).India has invested $ 200 billion in the same over ten years, at this rate we'll have Indians driving on the same roads as China by the time they give up driving and start flying.
Last weekend Chinese mobs threw stones and even managed to break windows at various Japanese targets, including the embassy in Beijing.Lets rewind to the Japanese attacks on China during the world war, the "Rape Of Nanking" and the obvious Japanese opposition to Chinese ambitions and regular one night stands with America.A Mob in China is very difficult to imagine, if the state decides that nobody downloads porn, nobody actually downloads porn.China has never forgiven Japan for his past and now its sending hints about the price they might have to pay.
North Korea, rather Nuclear powered North Korea is a threat and they have already declared that publicly.They have been courageous to say that , North Korea can attack America not only directly but also indirectly.This is what having balls made of Enriched Uranium can do to you.Terrorists with Nuclear Bombs, imagine homer simpson with an unlimited pass at mac's for life.Chinese remote controls which work best on North Korean Televisions and Governments already says that they can't help it.The question, do they really wanna ?
The declaration of Wen Jiabao, the Chinese premier, that India and China will the the " two pagoda's of economic might in the coming Asian century" implies that China is willing to go to any lenghts to assure its future.They are ready to reshape the border, and are already rooting for India's permanent security council seat.The deal with China includes "strategic partnership for peace and prosperity ,including expanded trade, border security even joint space exploration."Maybe they should just make Indo - Chinese weddings tax free.
I always thought Anu Malik had the most irritating voice when it comes to people, who sing for a living and actually manage to live by.Just when i thought i had hit rock bottom, the ground dropped down.
Next time you are watching football and the match gets boring, like for 90 minutes when arse and chelski were playing, switch over to a music channel.Chances are you'll see someone black, having fat legged pants, showing off his hilfiger underwear when the large pants is up to his ass.It's not just Black / White people, it's Filipino, Asian, Hispanic, Indian people that are getting into Rap music.Infact sometimes i don't understand what those people talk about, in the ebonic accent.So many brothers and sisters and still they manage to keep a racial crime rate above others.
Imagine a whole generation that likes 50 cents.The fact that 50 cents is actually worth more than 50 cents explains the number of Indian millionaires in America.The sub culture that has creeped into society, the hi/ho click, which includes my younger brother drives me crazy.Defined by the music they listen, enslaved for the rest of their young life till when they get old they realise what a waste its been.Hopefully.
It's like a tribal system in Africa, the person with the bigger drums/dicks get more respect.That's the way black people are, loud and obnoxious. I hate rap culture.When a white American dies its murder, when a black American dies its hate crime and there has to be a song about it.The lyrics of which i don't comprehend, the beat of which i don't catch but i do enjoy the semi naked girls moving their ass, sometimes.Maybe its the tolerance to this music that makes anal sex less painful to the other half of the species.Fine ass fucks.I'm afraid of the implications of this generation.
As the day dawns, and my fears go to sleep i like to think of the future.A future which doesn't neccesarily has to have a lot of resemblance to the past.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Televisons Top Three Couples
Televison,the discovery that changed civilization like never beforeand prepared us to face the overwhleming force that we call theInternet.Romance has mostly been the ghetto of Classics, even movies (like shrek) but has never been associated a lot with television.Experts say the short duration of a weekly series can'talways make as good as an impact like a 2 hrs movie, i don't subscribeto any such veiws and notions.
How long does it take to create an eternally lasting romantic moment,if life could be planned so well there would be no divorces forone and chinese takeaways would run out of business.Based on my own incomprehensible notions and herculean beliefs i've decided to make my own list of romantic couples on television.
As usual i don't have and fixed parameters,no ideal fundamentals so don't worry about criticising, anything and everything adds up.
1. The Everlasting love of Trudy and Adrian Monk.
Eternity and Forever are two very different terms,forever can only last a life time (as if thats small enough).Trudy is dead,and that adds to this sublime romance.5 years after her death,Adrian can't get over her, he still misses her, still recalls her poems, can never stop talking about her, relates everything to his life as,"if Trudy was here.."perspective.Shes not on his mind, She is his mind.Its taken a toll on his life,hes suffering from OCD (obsessive complusive disorder) but he can't survive the fact that he's not in love with her.This is eternity, Hes separated the need of physical existence in love , a lovethat knows no boundaries.When U2 made the track,i'm not sure if they realised that a defective detective would walk away with top honors.
2. Milk, Toast, and Honey for Wendy and Bob
Can a great romance be detected early, i'd say great romances are always detected early its just the realisation that can even take a lifetime.When i saw Bob the Builder for the first time , i knew this couple was special and i've been hooked ever since. The perfect match we dream of, Shes Bobs Other half, that one person who finishes his sentences, someonewho really 'gets' his inner,(literally) constructive emotions.Smalltalks in between day long schedules of work, effortless sharing ofequipment, no arguments, surprise gifts this couple has it all.A bit ofcaring,sharing and a whole lot of loving,Roxete's lullaby of Milk Toast and Honey For Wendy and Bob.
3.Unchained Melody for the Penguin
What comprises a great Romance,tonnes of affection, unending foreplay, zillions of sweet nothings, Hours of wild love making,a family and a lot more.Penguins have all that and more.Beginning from the attracting game to dating, mating and the family part everything is a story in itself.
How do you keep from looking like just another big, clumsy, dickless, flightless bird in a tux?There are no Brad pitts,and even if one thinks he his, chances are the female kinds won't.Make a complete foolout of yourself to get her attention.
Next how are you going to move in for the kill? Do a droll little widdle waddle while making comical head movements from side to side —females find this irresistibly attractive. Don't be put off if she ignores you and begins grooming herself or observing her surroundings;she's just playing hard-to-get. Sidle up to her and walk around in a circle so she can see your fine black dinner jacket, your starched white shirt, your plump stout body and its comparatively tiny littlehead.
Diamonds are a girls best friend.Gift your prospective female a well-chosen pebble, preferably a shiny, multi-faceted one costing a wing and a flipper. If she accepts this as a token of your affection, the match is on. (If not, you may have picked an unready female o reven another male, a common mistake, lets start all over again.)
After enjoying a brisk cold-water swim or tobogganing together through the snow, it's time to eat. Walk several hundred miles for sushi (rawfish,just in case u didn't get the point) and bring some back for your lover. During dinner, look deeply into her tiny eyes. Notice the curve of her beak, the smell of fish on her breath. If you really want to make her feel like your "baby," try throwing up in her mouth. This foreplay actually lasts more than months.
In the end all the love you take,is equal to the love you make. Nowhead back to the nest for a wild night of hugging and beak-rubbing.Turn on the air conditioner, set the thermostat to 40° below zero and push the button marked "hurricane force winds." Begin by preening around your mate's neck and beak. When the two of you just can't stand how cute you are, break out in a Loud Mutual Display, waving your necks back and forth while cackling affectionately. These bundles of joy can actually keep doing that as if theres no tommorow,Even forget to copulate.
Lets assume that u copulate ,Have eggs ...What next. Stand out in thecold for two months balancing an egg on your feet.
Nothing but the eternal classic for the couples we need to learn a lot from.
Ps:This was written last year,i still find it very funny.
How long does it take to create an eternally lasting romantic moment,if life could be planned so well there would be no divorces forone and chinese takeaways would run out of business.Based on my own incomprehensible notions and herculean beliefs i've decided to make my own list of romantic couples on television.
As usual i don't have and fixed parameters,no ideal fundamentals so don't worry about criticising, anything and everything adds up.
1. The Everlasting love of Trudy and Adrian Monk.
Eternity and Forever are two very different terms,forever can only last a life time (as if thats small enough).Trudy is dead,and that adds to this sublime romance.5 years after her death,Adrian can't get over her, he still misses her, still recalls her poems, can never stop talking about her, relates everything to his life as,"if Trudy was here.."perspective.Shes not on his mind, She is his mind.Its taken a toll on his life,hes suffering from OCD (obsessive complusive disorder) but he can't survive the fact that he's not in love with her.This is eternity, Hes separated the need of physical existence in love , a lovethat knows no boundaries.When U2 made the track,i'm not sure if they realised that a defective detective would walk away with top honors.
2. Milk, Toast, and Honey for Wendy and Bob
Can a great romance be detected early, i'd say great romances are always detected early its just the realisation that can even take a lifetime.When i saw Bob the Builder for the first time , i knew this couple was special and i've been hooked ever since. The perfect match we dream of, Shes Bobs Other half, that one person who finishes his sentences, someonewho really 'gets' his inner,(literally) constructive emotions.Smalltalks in between day long schedules of work, effortless sharing ofequipment, no arguments, surprise gifts this couple has it all.A bit ofcaring,sharing and a whole lot of loving,Roxete's lullaby of Milk Toast and Honey For Wendy and Bob.
3.Unchained Melody for the Penguin
What comprises a great Romance,tonnes of affection, unending foreplay, zillions of sweet nothings, Hours of wild love making,a family and a lot more.Penguins have all that and more.Beginning from the attracting game to dating, mating and the family part everything is a story in itself.
How do you keep from looking like just another big, clumsy, dickless, flightless bird in a tux?There are no Brad pitts,and even if one thinks he his, chances are the female kinds won't.Make a complete foolout of yourself to get her attention.
Next how are you going to move in for the kill? Do a droll little widdle waddle while making comical head movements from side to side —females find this irresistibly attractive. Don't be put off if she ignores you and begins grooming herself or observing her surroundings;she's just playing hard-to-get. Sidle up to her and walk around in a circle so she can see your fine black dinner jacket, your starched white shirt, your plump stout body and its comparatively tiny littlehead.
Diamonds are a girls best friend.Gift your prospective female a well-chosen pebble, preferably a shiny, multi-faceted one costing a wing and a flipper. If she accepts this as a token of your affection, the match is on. (If not, you may have picked an unready female o reven another male, a common mistake, lets start all over again.)
After enjoying a brisk cold-water swim or tobogganing together through the snow, it's time to eat. Walk several hundred miles for sushi (rawfish,just in case u didn't get the point) and bring some back for your lover. During dinner, look deeply into her tiny eyes. Notice the curve of her beak, the smell of fish on her breath. If you really want to make her feel like your "baby," try throwing up in her mouth. This foreplay actually lasts more than months.
In the end all the love you take,is equal to the love you make. Nowhead back to the nest for a wild night of hugging and beak-rubbing.Turn on the air conditioner, set the thermostat to 40° below zero and push the button marked "hurricane force winds." Begin by preening around your mate's neck and beak. When the two of you just can't stand how cute you are, break out in a Loud Mutual Display, waving your necks back and forth while cackling affectionately. These bundles of joy can actually keep doing that as if theres no tommorow,Even forget to copulate.
Lets assume that u copulate ,Have eggs ...What next. Stand out in thecold for two months balancing an egg on your feet.
Nothing but the eternal classic for the couples we need to learn a lot from.
Ps:This was written last year,i still find it very funny.
An Italian in New Delhi
Its been a wonderful year.Not very humane,but then whats humane these
days except southern hemisphere rugby.
What i find very delightful and very pleasing is that what i hoped
(and predicted) by way of an italian defeating the fundamentalists
came true.Sonia , like a true italian believed in defence.She spent
more time building her fort then trying to shit on others and when the
time came, she attacked as well.And as they, things came tumbling after.
She marched into delhi, kicked atal not only out of his office but also
made him an outcast in his party but was not done yet.After that she
came into our very own city and kicked bal's balls (lol, now doesn't
that sound good).
Yes,i'm biased and as incumbent the present government is, i prefer
them instead of the religious fundamentalists.An idealogist without an
ideology is more "humane" then fundamentalists with irrational (read
religious) beliefs.
Looking at the aftermath,Sonia didn't only defeat the BJP but with
some very clever allying has now attacked at the very heart of the
party.The clamhead advani is as good as leader as a cockroach trying
to win a beauty contest,and ther appears to be no
future/backbone/present for the party.Infact the left is acting more
as the opposition then the saffronheads.They've lost more then just
the election.Abput Sankaracharya, yea fuk his case too.
In Maharashtra,the sena has become an embarrassment and apart from the
BMC they don't control anything(of course, we are leaving them for the
streets).In fact even with against a government with a debt of above 1
Lakh crore they cannot hope/expect/dream to throw them out.I'm sure
you remember the meeting Sonia had with Sharad Pawar.
Inspite of all the above,my utter disgust at the mere existence of the
muslim hating saffron heads its not the Congress which has won the
election.Its the allies like the Left which have assumed critical
importance and have been recognized.Like a niche crowd which has
existed from the times of independence and today to the the opposition
that that supports as well.I believe that this is for the good of my
beloved country, and as i always have i will dream of a better future.
days except southern hemisphere rugby.
What i find very delightful and very pleasing is that what i hoped
(and predicted) by way of an italian defeating the fundamentalists
came true.Sonia , like a true italian believed in defence.She spent
more time building her fort then trying to shit on others and when the
time came, she attacked as well.And as they, things came tumbling after.
She marched into delhi, kicked atal not only out of his office but also
made him an outcast in his party but was not done yet.After that she
came into our very own city and kicked bal's balls (lol, now doesn't
that sound good).
Yes,i'm biased and as incumbent the present government is, i prefer
them instead of the religious fundamentalists.An idealogist without an
ideology is more "humane" then fundamentalists with irrational (read
religious) beliefs.
Looking at the aftermath,Sonia didn't only defeat the BJP but with
some very clever allying has now attacked at the very heart of the
party.The clamhead advani is as good as leader as a cockroach trying
to win a beauty contest,and ther appears to be no
future/backbone/present for the party.Infact the left is acting more
as the opposition then the saffronheads.They've lost more then just
the election.Abput Sankaracharya, yea fuk his case too.
In Maharashtra,the sena has become an embarrassment and apart from the
BMC they don't control anything(of course, we are leaving them for the
streets).In fact even with against a government with a debt of above 1
Lakh crore they cannot hope/expect/dream to throw them out.I'm sure
you remember the meeting Sonia had with Sharad Pawar.
Inspite of all the above,my utter disgust at the mere existence of the
muslim hating saffron heads its not the Congress which has won the
election.Its the allies like the Left which have assumed critical
importance and have been recognized.Like a niche crowd which has
existed from the times of independence and today to the the opposition
that that supports as well.I believe that this is for the good of my
beloved country, and as i always have i will dream of a better future.
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