Shall we outsource the PM ?

A Terrorist attack on a premier educational institution, now why didn't anyone think of it yet.I did, in fact i vividly remember a conversation i had with a colleague wherein we veered from talking about the middle east, to India - Pak , when i told her about the sense it made to attack places of educational importance in India, the example we took was TIFR (maybe its next).

It just makes super "common sense" to me.Adolf Hitler wrote in Mein Kampf about how the first step in unifying Germany would be to destroy the Jewish press, and Jewish schools.(Although he's also written that almost all the newspapers in Austrian Germany belonged to the Jews, and they indulged in a mass brainwashing programme to keep the Germans subdued.I have neither been able to refute his claims nor can i deny them, for the lack of material evidence.Maybe he was right, or maybe not).Sun Tzu has mentioned about how the enemy needs to be weakened first, its supplies hampered, before you go ahead to conquer it.Now if i could get my hands on these texts am sure militant groups too could go ahead and use them for their benefit.

The fact that India is a soft target has been proved over, and over again.I believe i had written somewhere before that Indian Governments lack the balls to take decisive, and strong action against terrorism.The only step ahead in the past few years was the declaration that Indian Governments will not negotiate with terrorists, how good that can be, i do not know.Delhi, Bombay and now Bangalore, wonder who's next.From parliaments to educational institutes, we are vulnerable all the way.

In this period of strong economic growth, we need a strong leader who can channelize the benefits of that growth to the poorest states, and one who can take strong decisions, and implements actions to erase the banner of "soft target" that sits under our national flag.I believe we need a Indira Gandhi.MS was a good bureaucrat and a great FM, but that guy isn't a politician and he displays the tendency of bureaucrats to please everyone but still he's what we have got and i can't think of any other leader who can take his position and manage the country with the intelligence and ruthlessness both in sync.Just like FDI and foreign coaches in sports , we need an expat PM.A Putin would do just fine.

2005

2005, its almost over and looking back, clouded by the visions of the future, it wasn't bad at all.Nowhere in the vicinity of bad.The first new formula one champion after a considerably long time, a thrilling Champions league final, Federers supremacy almost being threatened and a lot other "nice" things.

It also saw democratic processes being initiated in two war ravaged countries - Iraq and Afghanistan, which is a fantastic achievement.Amid attacks and threats of violence, people went to polls after decades of nonsecular rule and now there is hope, which is more than what the people in the respective countries ever had just a couple of years ago.Saddam Hussein being captured and brought to trial, now who would have thought of that.

Nature stamped its authority as the supreme giver, with earthquakes and hurricanes closely followed by the year of the Tsunami, Nature gave a wake up call to be respected, maybe its been enough.Terry Schiavo's death doesn't end the Man Vs Nature debate, and in many ways its hardly begun.I still think the removal of her life support system was "inhuman" and against basic human rights, if the creator wanted us to decide on death he might as well have given us a knob.Evolution might have conjured up such a biological sub-system.

One event, that probably gets my vote as the "Event of the year" was the withdrawal of troops from Gaza.Controversial, yes, as i vividly remember a Jewish woman, in tears, saying "For the first time in Jewish history, Jews have driven Jews out of their holy home".Regardless a comprehensive victory for peace efforts in the middle east.Wounded memories can never be the guide to a peaceful future.Terrorists meanwhile took centre stage during the London and Jordan bombings.The end to terrorism is not in sight, and the threat only seems to increase.The threat to terrorism is Globalisation, and the more we are able to subjugate economic borders and barriers between different classes of people, the more we'll feel safer.

Just like a new formula one champ, people also got a brand new, conservative , Pope, Joseph Ratzinger of Germany and a new CM in Bihar.The latter, especially, holds a lot of promise and isn't the usual run of the mill Bihari politician.If Bihar, UP, and MP clock good growth rates, the aim of a 10 % growth rate won't look unrealistic rather unambitious.

Apart from all the above mentioned changes, things were pretty much the same.Tiger woods captured (yet) another Masters and added to his tally with a British Open as well.Cricket saw the Australians tormented by one Freddie Flintoff, and the Ashes shifting continents for the first time in 16 years.Though cynics will argue that it was the absence of Glen Mcgrath that shifted the Balance, the trophy knows where its going to stay for a year.India saw the emergence of a team with actual sporting character and mental toughness and the future only looks bright, except for the unnecessary presence of a former captain.I would do injustice to a certain 19 year old, Aftab Ahmed if i don't mention his heroics when Bangladesh defeated Australia.He scored only 20 odd, but he kept his head to win a match against by and far the best team in the world.Magnificient achievement.

Ah, the champions league final..half time Liverpool 0 - 3 Milan.There was only one place the title was going, and then the struggle of one man,the stirring deeds and indefatigable spirit of one individual inspired the other 10 and in 15 minutes of absolute madness the meanest defence in Europe conceded 3 goals, and suddenly the scousers were chanting "We're gonna win 4-3" and they did.Football never had it so good.I hope i get to see another Final as this one in my lifetime.

In league football is got as boring as it never did, Romans Chelsea ate everything in its way to win last season and look good again.My beloved Manchester United look lost yet again and my brother Galacticos look the same in Spain, so no ones really in sight of bragging rights.Barca look superb but will they be consistent enough to get glory in Europe, or will they fall to the all conquering Bianconeri.Juventus have looked every bit the Italian mafia in their 15 odd wins this season, especially against inter, they defend ruthlessly and more than
attacking the opponent work on creating opportunities for attacking.

Who will rise upto the challenge of stopping Federer on Grass ?Going from this years experiences no one will, hes above the rest by a good couple of notches.He does everything else that anyone else does, only does it better.Lets hope that some star may rise, and there'll actually will be competition at Wimbledon.Raikkonen crashing out while in the lead, and Alonso chasing him down till the end, and taking the chequered flag, that's been the story of F1 this year.Single minded determination and perseverance paying it off for the Spaniard and we saw a new F1 champion.

One country that has had it pretty good this year, apart from England is NZ.The All Blacks, for me the sporting phenomenon of the year, the Bledisloe Cup, the Tri-Nations, the Grand Slam and the mauling of the Lions showed that Graham Henry's side were a class above the rest, and the now legendary tackle on Brian O'Driscoll by Umaga and Keven Mealamu, the new haka and the emergence of Dan Carter as an All Black legend and it is easy to see why 2005 was a year of redemption for the All Blacks.The men from league just pip the men from union as their victory was totally unexpected in the Tri-Nations and that 24-0 mauling of the Aussies, that'll live long, really long.Even bigger was the triumph of Michael Campbell at the US open, forced to qualify for the tournament, Campbell produced a masterful display of composed golf to clinch the trophy and hero-like status both in New Zealand and around the world.And just to prove it wasn't a fluke, he then went off to win the World Match Play Championship at Wentworth and he'll never have to buy a drink in NZ ever again.

And then, the man who's done it year after year, critics, opponents withstanding , the 7th Tour De France title for Lance Armstrong, his domination of perhaps the toughest sporting event is undeniable.There was little doubt that Armstrong was going to retire on a high, fastest in the time trials, strongest in the mountains and the captain of the fastest team, he duly destroyed his rivals on the streets of France.The lingering cloud of doping still hovers above Armstrong but his talent has never been in doubt.

I can almost see it now, 2006, the year of the the FIFA world cup, the biggest gratification of them all and the Winter Olympics at Torino, along with the rest of the usual happenings.Its bound to be a cracker of a game.

Have you seen my dream ?

I was feeling too lazy to sleep that night,as i walked upto her i could hear the breathe of her hair, embalmed with the smell of her braids the walls seemed to have cleared the humidity in the air.It looked as if her veins carried a message that words could not, words bowed down having carried the burden of her inner world.So often was i able to read her veins that, i, quite often, thought of the place where they met.
I'm blind now, she said.I heard the sound of the moon which it makes as it passes my window, i could feel the fibre of her body watching me through her naked skin, bone to bone, with her eyes closed.The previous night while the heavens beat upon her mud roof, the hens, poor creatures they, could not warm their eggs as the dark soil of the earth had turned into a brown sticky lifeform and wet their feet, came inside and pecked her eyes.
I went inside to prepare some soup, to escape the convulsive breathe of her hair, and looked around for my dream which i didn't see.I gathered the sound of the wind, the dark wind that never blows and never sits still and asked her if she has seen my dream, the one i didn't see as i was lighting the stove to prepare soup.No.
I must ask the other villages if they saw my dream go by, i told her, while i groped the cold walls that now smelt like cold goats cheese , blind as i was to find the door.No wait, let my face be warmed by the sun.

(is it) The end of the world

I never thought i would actually say this, but football has become "boring and meaningless".Due to a certain rich oligarch, who happened to buy a football club because he was running out of things to buy.Its horrible when you see a club scoring a goal - sometimes two, and then defending for an entire quarter, and even 2 quarters of an hour.And this has been happening week after week, and doesn't look as if its going to end.

Winning is important, and possibly the only thing that occupies the mind of top rung managers, but are we as fans paying the price to see our clubs win.Football has actally become so monotonous that even watching the english cricket team play sounds interesting, relatively.

I'm not entirely happy with the fact that Alonso will be joining us (McLaren) in 2007.In F1 you can never have two world champions, and with that you can't have two contenders in the same team.For me Kimi is the man, and i believe that it'll be him who will leave come 2007.

It was a delight to hear the Steve Slater say the phrase "The cold blue eyes of Mika Hakkinen", for one of the most wonderfully said statements in sports commentary (Eddy will agree).After Mika left came Kimi, same cold blue eyes, ruthless in approach and brilliant behind the wheel, it was as close to a Mika reincarnate we got, and i was extremely happy with that.

Alonso is a great driver, a superb champion but he doesn't have the raw, ruthless personality that i was used to in Mika, and frankly i'll find it extremely difficult to see him, and not Kimi as the frontline driver for us.Either of Kimi and Alonso won't agree to be wingman and if they do it'll be an insult to a fantastic sport.Football already has become "boring and meaningless" at times, it would be very dissappointing to see the same happening to F1.

War Within The Worlds.

Fabulous news ! India has been granted a permanent seat in the security council of the league of nations where in summers people die of heatstroke, of cold in winters and also manage to die coz of excessive rains.

Seasonal deaths are not a strange occurance in India, to think of it what is (strange).People here die of various reasons - hunger, poverty and even affluence.But thats not what is leaving me perplexed.

I cannot think of an antonym for the word "developing" and i'd like to believe that i'll be able to come up with a word before desperation directs me to rogets.

We regularly identify ours as a developing nation.The numbers of the poor, illiterate and the homeless have all increased since 1950 and i don't think that qualifies as developing.Infact its quite the opposite.

In our seemingly continual pursuit of vanity these days the government is busy lobbying for a permanent seat of the UN security council, even without the veto.We are still the same country where half of the people don't have direct access to clean drinking water.

There are a whole lot more people in this country who need clean water, basic sanitation and two square meals per day than those who want a UNSC seat and cheaper imported super luxury cars.

In fifty years the number of children who dream of getting a good education is more than those who do and even today we spend more on heavy industries and making guns than n primary education.50 years of poverty has still not managed to change government perspectives and financial outlays.Till about 10 years it wasn't even possible to start a school with a loan based on capital deficit.Of course banks would pour money on you if you wanted to make springs.

We are celebrating the end of the WW2, of the allied landing at Normandie - the single most planned strategic mission to kill people and of the nuclear attacks.Thats when the other war began, we realised our ambitions and dreams as countries and not as the world.De-globalization.

The allies were a sign of Globalization, raw material flew in from all possible countries , India included.Infact Indian beryl was used in the atomic bomb to start the flow of uranium neutrons to produce nuclear fission. The rare earths in the sands of Kerala went into making titanium, used on American navy vessels. By one account, India provided $640 million worth of material (in 1945 prices). The world was fighting against a common enemy.

Nations were classified into the two power blocks and leaders decided that separation was necessary for individual development and world domination.We decided to exist as countries and not as people.

Change is continual and with GATT in 1993 the world was once again opening up to globalisation.Business leaders realised that survival meant expansion.After polluting and exploiting your country you have to go to other countries and do the same.Thats not as bad as i morbidly made is sound.Political leaders were convinced that prosperity meant growing economies and that meant globalization.

Thomas Friedman famously said that no two countries with McDonalds can ever go to war with each other.Afghanistan and Iraq didn't and Iran doesn't have any Mc's.Today along with economic depressions we are also fighting terrorism.Globalization is the answer to terrorism, open up economies , create employment and make sure all the kids play football.The world is fighting a common enemy.

Lets Rape

Move over cricket, Indian men have a new pastime : Raping.Raping women to be precise.Everyone gets raped, mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, grandmothers, babies.Infact rapes of 6 month old babies is routine these days.And we are good at it, moving cars, trucks, trains, no place isn't bad enough.Politicians, cops, teachers, priests, brothers, uncles, friends, soldiers, strangers, everyone rapes.Infact we need to make a constitutional ammendment that “ Every Indian male with enough juice in his balls can rape”.With secularism reaching new hieghts under Mr.Narendra Modi , people of all religions, castes can rape.All you need isn't love but a dick.
We also have manages consistency, we rape everyday, every hour.Soon women will be measured in the census as Raped/ To be Raped.India will soon be the next raping superpower.Who needs a high literacy rate or a growing per capita income, We want more rapes.SRZ's ( Special Raping Zones) should be setup, infact raping should be introduced in schools.Its better to give our bright future a flying start.

Rape is the solution to all our problems, land disputes, family pride, personal arguments.Rape dissolves them all.Infact the Indian army personel who raped girls in Kashmir/Sri Lanka should be sent to resolve the India – Pakistan dispute.

Theres a whole new industry brewing up , Bollywood is already making a movie on a teen raped in broad daylight by a cop.Ironically raping doesn't need a whole lot of exposure, its already widespread.Infact open a daily newspaper and theres a rape on every page.There can infact be a newspaper dedicated completely to rape, The Raping Times sounds enriching,

Rape has always been a part of our (in)human history.All cultures have a history of rape.During all wars the winning army ravaged the women of the losers.In Bosnia women stood is queues as soldiers raped them one by one.We have a history of male superiority and aggressive behaviour.A rapist wasn't even publicly looked down upon.Rape is as common as mythology and invasion are to human culture.Prevalent norms accepted sex, rather forced sex as the inescapable right of the conqueror.

Sad as it might sound but rape has been the norm and not the exception.Genetically we were programmed to and accept rape.That has to stop.Like an epidemic of alarming proportions, it has to be contained and eradicated.

I don't know the exact numbers but some women get raped because some men want to rape.There might be women who want to be raped, Samna – the ( drowning ) Shiv Sena mouthpiece says that women who wear western clothes want to be raped, still without a ready man they would be pretty helpless.

Rape of course is very fundamentally forced intercourse.There are discussions if it is physical/physiological/sociological, i think its a bit of all of that and more.Rape is criminal in its nature and its being.It is a grievous inhuman act against the body of a person and the ethics of humanity.it is violence in its most violent form.A rapist does not deserve a second chance, he doesn't need our sympathy and under no circumstances must be forgiven.Hang him by his hyperactive dick, i'd say.

Football - The year that was

Sometimes i think Bill Murray should have been dutch.He actually missed out on Groundhog Day, De Boer actually missed that penalty in 98, get the point.

The dutch have a long tradition of glorius failures.I wanted PSV to win, Milan with all their pedigree and tradition were made to look mediocre over 180 minutes.Ambrosini scored and the rossoneri will visit Istanbul in 2 weeks time.It almost made me cry, PSV were the better team, and played some very good and some not very bad football but they lost to Milan who played badly.Thats how great teams are, even when they play badly they manage to get something out of the game, i'll come back to this later.

The same story with a different cast in the UEFA CUP, after 122 minutes of football filled with promise and hope, a freak goal, another dutch team ousted from a European tournament.
Just when i was about to forget that Barca were a first tier team in Europe, a certain Ronaldinho came along and tommorow will lead Barcelona to their first title of the century.He scores magical goals, sets people up,takes care of the dead ball situations and also scores impossible goals in impossible situations.

Barcelona cannot win at the Mestalla, said Helguera.The ball fell fast from the sky to the edge of the area, Ronaldinho leaned back and brought his right leg over and across the ball with amazing grace, connecting with a volley of outrageous difficulty and sending the ball whooshing past Valencia's right-hand post.

The home supporters, normally a voluble and aggressive lot to visiting teams, simply remained silent. It was a telling moment, a collective acceptance of the fact that they were witnessing greatness. You don't jeer at greatness, because it doesn't come along very often.

He hushed the Mestalla - no easy feat in possibly the noisiest stadium in Spain.Barcelona won by 2 goals.

My brother is a Real fan, if you don't know what Real is you better stop reading this article and continue breathing, if you must.The decline began when they sold makka, Claude Makelele to Chelsea - who by the way prospered since his arrival, ask Terry and Lampard what he means to them - Fiorentino Perez , famously said 'We've just transferred a player who can only pass the ball four yards and bought another [Beckham] who can pass it forty'.Thats when you knew he had lost his way.

Real will go trophyless for the second consecutive season, thats some sort of a record in itself.They have been mediocre all this season, till Gravesen came along.Things have been upward, even Raul started playing better, even scoring but then it was too late.The catalan juggernaut wasn't going to be stopped.

Juventus and Milan have combined to win 11 of the last 13 Scudettos, but this is the first time the two have gone head-to-head; Lazio, Inter, Parma and Roma being either club's competitors on those previous occasions.In fact there is some sort of an alliance between the two, once that will sustain some damage.

Juventus don't have to worry about putting in a great display of football, they rarely are brilliant.Milan have more talent, more firepower and the worlds only one man strike force in Andriy Shevchenko.For my money he has been the best striker for some time, he scores with a mediocre midfield, without one and also marries a playboy playmate.Then theres Gianluigi Buffon, a lot of managers around the world pray to god to find someone half as good as him.

After last weeks defeat by Juve, Milan know that the title race is as good as over.Always a difficult side to break down, their 27th minute lead from a well-taken goal by David Trezeguet, who pounced to head in a Del Piero overhead kick of a cross from the left, meant they could play out the rest of the game in their favourite fashion: closing down spaces, putting at times nine men behind the ball and defending indepth,Commiting nasty little fouls in midfield that have been breaking down opponents' counter-attacking all season - statistics, who mean less in soccer than in other sports anyway, show Juve have committed more fouls than anybody else this season.

Milan will still play and possibly win the Champions League, with Nesta, Stam and Maldini forming the heart of defence its very difficult to see the reds scoring, especially without a good striker.Maldini might win his 4th Champions league winners medal, when you are the best left back of your generation, theres a standard you have to live upto.

In England for the first time in a decade we saw 3 times with a fighting chance of winning the league.Chelski fuelled by the billions of a certain russian, frustrated, fluttered and destroyed everything in their way to win the league.The fact that United and Arsenal were both out of form, Arse still managing bits and pieces of their form at times, United have been mediocre all season.With the Glazer takeover looming large over Old Trafford, the arrival of the american will mean hit the final nail in the coffin of the United era.One that will live long in the memories of many people.

Be afraid, Be very very afraid.

Be afraid, be very very afraid.Thats how Sachin Tendulkar likes to treat failure, i'm assuming over the years he's built up his courage for his recent form.The defintion of fear which to me makes a lot of sense is, fear is courage that has said its prayers.It does make fear look inevitable, inevitably, that it is.Lets talk about things that really scare me, we are talking about methi pakoda's, watermelon milkshakes and the top of the league stuff.Indian team losing to bangadesh, na not scared of that.Some supergeek trying to take over the world , na not scared of that either.Waking up one day to see am Brad Pitt, that should scare Brad not me.

There are things i'm really afraid of, lets talk about the China - North Korea love affair.China is a scary place, they invest $ 150 billion in infrastructure development every year ( roads, buildings, bridges etc , a lot of them).India has invested $ 200 billion in the same over ten years, at this rate we'll have Indians driving on the same roads as China by the time they give up driving and start flying.

Last weekend Chinese mobs threw stones and even managed to break windows at various Japanese targets, including the embassy in Beijing.Lets rewind to the Japanese attacks on China during the world war, the "Rape Of Nanking" and the obvious Japanese opposition to Chinese ambitions and regular one night stands with America.A Mob in China is very difficult to imagine, if the state decides that nobody downloads porn, nobody actually downloads porn.China has never forgiven Japan for his past and now its sending hints about the price they might have to pay.

North Korea, rather Nuclear powered North Korea is a threat and they have already declared that publicly.They have been courageous to say that , North Korea can attack America not only directly but also indirectly.This is what having balls made of Enriched Uranium can do to you.Terrorists with Nuclear Bombs, imagine homer simpson with an unlimited pass at mac's for life.Chinese remote controls which work best on North Korean Televisions and Governments already says that they can't help it.The question, do they really wanna ?

The declaration of Wen Jiabao, the Chinese premier, that India and China will the the " two pagoda's of economic might in the coming Asian century" implies that China is willing to go to any lenghts to assure its future.They are ready to reshape the border, and are already rooting for India's permanent security council seat.The deal with China includes "strategic partnership for peace and prosperity ,including expanded trade, border security even joint space exploration."Maybe they should just make Indo - Chinese weddings tax free.

I always thought Anu Malik had the most irritating voice when it comes to people, who sing for a living and actually manage to live by.Just when i thought i had hit rock bottom, the ground dropped down.

Next time you are watching football and the match gets boring, like for 90 minutes when arse and chelski were playing, switch over to a music channel.Chances are you'll see someone black, having fat legged pants, showing off his hilfiger underwear when the large pants is up to his ass.It's not just Black / White people, it's Filipino, Asian, Hispanic, Indian people that are getting into Rap music.Infact sometimes i don't understand what those people talk about, in the ebonic accent.So many brothers and sisters and still they manage to keep a racial crime rate above others.

Imagine a whole generation that likes 50 cents.The fact that 50 cents is actually worth more than 50 cents explains the number of Indian millionaires in America.The sub culture that has creeped into society, the hi/ho click, which includes my younger brother drives me crazy.Defined by the music they listen, enslaved for the rest of their young life till when they get old they realise what a waste its been.Hopefully.

It's like a tribal system in Africa, the person with the bigger drums/dicks get more respect.That's the way black people are, loud and obnoxious. I hate rap culture.When a white American dies its murder, when a black American dies its hate crime and there has to be a song about it.The lyrics of which i don't comprehend, the beat of which i don't catch but i do enjoy the semi naked girls moving their ass, sometimes.Maybe its the tolerance to this music that makes anal sex less painful to the other half of the species.Fine ass fucks.I'm afraid of the implications of this generation.

As the day dawns, and my fears go to sleep i like to think of the future.A future which doesn't neccesarily has to have a lot of resemblance to the past.

Televisons Top Three Couples

Televison,the discovery that changed civilization like never beforeand prepared us to face the overwhleming force that we call theInternet.Romance has mostly been the ghetto of Classics, even movies (like shrek) but has never been associated a lot with television.Experts say the short duration of a weekly series can'talways make as good as an impact like a 2 hrs movie, i don't subscribeto any such veiws and notions.

How long does it take to create an eternally lasting romantic moment,if life could be planned so well there would be no divorces forone and chinese takeaways would run out of business.Based on my own incomprehensible notions and herculean beliefs i've decided to make my own list of romantic couples on television.
As usual i don't have and fixed parameters,no ideal fundamentals so don't worry about criticising, anything and everything adds up.
1. The Everlasting love of Trudy and Adrian Monk.
Eternity and Forever are two very different terms,forever can only last a life time (as if thats small enough).Trudy is dead,and that adds to this sublime romance.5 years after her death,Adrian can't get over her, he still misses her, still recalls her poems, can never stop talking about her, relates everything to his life as,"if Trudy was here.."perspective.Shes not on his mind, She is his mind.Its taken a toll on his life,hes suffering from OCD (obsessive complusive disorder) but he can't survive the fact that he's not in love with her.This is eternity, Hes separated the need of physical existence in love , a lovethat knows no boundaries.When U2 made the track,i'm not sure if they realised that a defective detective would walk away with top honors.
2. Milk, Toast, and Honey for Wendy and Bob
Can a great romance be detected early, i'd say great romances are always detected early its just the realisation that can even take a lifetime.When i saw Bob the Builder for the first time , i knew this couple was special and i've been hooked ever since. The perfect match we dream of, Shes Bobs Other half, that one person who finishes his sentences, someonewho really 'gets' his inner,(literally) constructive emotions.Smalltalks in between day long schedules of work, effortless sharing ofequipment, no arguments, surprise gifts this couple has it all.A bit ofcaring,sharing and a whole lot of loving,Roxete's lullaby of Milk Toast and Honey For Wendy and Bob.
3.Unchained Melody for the Penguin
What comprises a great Romance,tonnes of affection, unending foreplay, zillions of sweet nothings, Hours of wild love making,a family and a lot more.Penguins have all that and more.Beginning from the attracting game to dating, mating and the family part everything is a story in itself.
How do you keep from looking like just another big, clumsy, dickless, flightless bird in a tux?There are no Brad pitts,and even if one thinks he his, chances are the female kinds won't.Make a complete foolout of yourself to get her attention.
Next how are you going to move in for the kill? Do a droll little widdle waddle while making comical head movements from side to side —females find this irresistibly attractive. Don't be put off if she ignores you and begins grooming herself or observing her surroundings;she's just playing hard-to-get. Sidle up to her and walk around in a circle so she can see your fine black dinner jacket, your starched white shirt, your plump stout body and its comparatively tiny littlehead.
Diamonds are a girls best friend.Gift your prospective female a well-chosen pebble, preferably a shiny, multi-faceted one costing a wing and a flipper. If she accepts this as a token of your affection, the match is on. (If not, you may have picked an unready female o reven another male, a common mistake, lets start all over again.)
After enjoying a brisk cold-water swim or tobogganing together through the snow, it's time to eat. Walk several hundred miles for sushi (rawfish,just in case u didn't get the point) and bring some back for your lover. During dinner, look deeply into her tiny eyes. Notice the curve of her beak, the smell of fish on her breath. If you really want to make her feel like your "baby," try throwing up in her mouth. This foreplay actually lasts more than months.
In the end all the love you take,is equal to the love you make. Nowhead back to the nest for a wild night of hugging and beak-rubbing.Turn on the air conditioner, set the thermostat to 40° below zero and push the button marked "hurricane force winds." Begin by preening around your mate's neck and beak. When the two of you just can't stand how cute you are, break out in a Loud Mutual Display, waving your necks back and forth while cackling affectionately. These bundles of joy can actually keep doing that as if theres no tommorow,Even forget to copulate.
Lets assume that u copulate ,Have eggs ...What next. Stand out in thecold for two months balancing an egg on your feet.
Nothing but the eternal classic for the couples we need to learn a lot from.
Ps:This was written last year,i still find it very funny.

An Italian in New Delhi

Its been a wonderful year.Not very humane,but then whats humane these
days except southern hemisphere rugby.

What i find very delightful and very pleasing is that what i hoped
(and predicted) by way of an italian defeating the fundamentalists
came true.Sonia , like a true italian believed in defence.She spent
more time building her fort then trying to shit on others and when the
time came, she attacked as well.And as they, things came tumbling after.

She marched into delhi, kicked atal not only out of his office but also
made him an outcast in his party but was not done yet.After that she
came into our very own city and kicked bal's balls (lol, now doesn't
that sound good).

Yes,i'm biased and as incumbent the present government is, i prefer
them instead of the religious fundamentalists.An idealogist without an
ideology is more "humane" then fundamentalists with irrational (read
religious) beliefs.

Looking at the aftermath,Sonia didn't only defeat the BJP but with
some very clever allying has now attacked at the very heart of the
party.The clamhead advani is as good as leader as a cockroach trying
to win a beauty contest,and ther appears to be no
future/backbone/present for the party.Infact the left is acting more
as the opposition then the saffronheads.They've lost more then just
the election.Abput Sankaracharya, yea fuk his case too.

In Maharashtra,the sena has become an embarrassment and apart from the
BMC they don't control anything(of course, we are leaving them for the
streets).In fact even with against a government with a debt of above 1
Lakh crore they cannot hope/expect/dream to throw them out.I'm sure
you remember the meeting Sonia had with Sharad Pawar.

Inspite of all the above,my utter disgust at the mere existence of the
muslim hating saffron heads its not the Congress which has won the
election.Its the allies like the Left which have assumed critical
importance and have been recognized.Like a niche crowd which has
existed from the times of independence and today to the the opposition
that that supports as well.I believe that this is for the good of my
beloved country, and as i always have i will dream of a better future.

The Poor, The Black and The Dead.

It official, India has more billionaires than the U.K.We also have more poor than the whole of Europe put together.There are different versions to the story, the World Bank says that about 35 % of Indians live under the poverty line, economists like Surjit Bhalla say that the poor hardly constitute 13 %.I'd like to invite opinion on that, what do you think defines as "being poor".My cousin thinks anyone who doesn't have a cell phone is poor, she's 5 and has recently got one.
This is in response to a colleague, who remarked that Black isn't a colour, its simply nothing.
Shes partially right, Black isn't just a colour.Its a philosophy, a way of life.Close your eyes and what colour do you see, Black.Its the colour of your inner self, your thoughts reflected upon you.Black is the prevailing background for the movie of thoughts playing in your mind.
Black is a colour of acceptance, it accepts all the other colours and still doesn't lose its shade.The night sky is black, its a reflection of our world.Its Black.
Black signifies change, theres a reason you move from darkness to light.To move towards light you need darkness in the first place.Black gives infinity hope about its existence.
Terry Schiavo died a few hours back, biologically dead.They took off the tube and because she couldn't eat on her own, she died.She didn't do a lot when she was "alive", barely nudging survival.Can you call Michael Schiavo’s decision to remove Terri’s feeding tube "murder"?, Yes. It seems selfish to hook her up to a machine in the faint hope that she’ll return to form.This guy has endured fifteen years of endless headaches and lawsuits. That’s love. True, he moved on and started another family. But he also turned down a million-dollar offer to walk away and wash his hands of this. It’s hard to imagine him doing that unless he truly believes this is what Terri would have wanted.
On the other hand, is this what she wanted? Michael Schiavo says yes; Terri’s parents say no. I’m cannot question her husband’s motives, but I understand why her parents are. After all, his decision to remove her feeding tube is based on something she told him over a decade ago. No one will ever be able to prove it.He could've walked away and left her with people ready to feed her, but he did not.He believed that this was what she wanted.I'm not taking sides.

Process Control 

Immortality

Guys love football and girls can't figure out whats so funny about 22 people trying to put one ball on either sides of a 150 mt field.
I've liked football for a long time now, like most other things, i'm fiercely loyal to my team.Football is a religion in itself, it incapsulates the team you support, the players who after putting week in - week out of effort become gods, immortality is fundamentally meant to be out of reach of mortals.
Football is about a belief, Football doesn't betray you, Football doesn't remind you that you black or white,ugly or beautiful or how much you hate your job.Football doesn't stop when it rains, or snows.You don't need a degree to watch football, nor do you need to wear a tuxedo to enjoy a game.Football does't ignore you, doesn't cheat on you, doesn't crib, nag or make you eat methi.Its always there.
Guys need that kinda stability, something that'll make the mediocrity in their lives dissappear.It can come back on Monday.
I was one of the billions of Indians happy about NM being denied a diplomatic visa.Infact if i could, i would stop air from reaching his lungs, water from reaching this throat and light from reaching his eyes but i'd want him to stay alive.Theres more misery and pain a moment of life, than in the eternity of death.
Yes, its incorrect to deny a democratically elected head of state to be denied a diplomatic visa.But 'incorrect' here adheres to a definition that is manmade.Like everything that is manmade it will be obsolete one day.When someone point out that you have done something wrong, remember what you did might make you immortal one day.You don't have to be right all the time to be happy, being wrong gives you the same feeling.
Wanted to share this.
When they were already quite old, Salvador dali and his wife Gala had a pet rabbit, who lived with them, who lived with them, followed them around everywhere, and of whem they were very find.Once, they were about to embark on a long trip and they debated long into the night what to do with the rabbit.It would have been difficult to take him along and equally difficult to entrust him to somebody else, because the rabbit was uneasy with strangers.The next day Gala prepared lunch and Dali enjoyed the excellent food until he realized he was eating rabbit meat.He got up from the table and ran to the bathroom, where he vomited up his beloved pet, the faithful friend of his waning days.Gala on the other hand, was happy that the one she loved had passed into her guts, caressing them and becoming the body of his mistress.For her there existed no more perfect fulfillment of love than eating the beloved.Compared to this merging of bodies seemed to her no more than ludicrous tickling.

Icecream cows,beef and free tractors

Icecream cows,beef and free tractors



Its said inhibitions are due to our own apprehensions which often limits our understanding of a particular thing.I'm not sure of what that is but i have never understood the path of privatisation that was taken by the Nda govt.First I'm a fairly orthodox guy so i don't believe in selling of profit making Psu's.

Let me explain,lets imagine a small village and the village together owns a cow.This cow gives you an amazing quality of milk,icecream types.Why the hell would you wanna sell it?What has happened is some people who hate icecreams got together and sold off the cow,now wheres the money.Isn't the money supposed to be distributed back to the village,you don't need economists to figure that out.

What arun and co did was ,first sell off the cow and then put the money in the govt treasury.Capital is supposed to flow back in the market,lowering interest rates and giving investment another kickstart.That never happened.Privatisation.

Its agonizingly annoying that the Nda is now trying to corner Upa by coming up with a strategy that will see them accusing everyone in the cabinet of being a criminal instead of the Pm.Maybe if the Nda had come to power the congress would have slogged out the same strategy.Indian political think tanks are more like think tinks.

The CMP,that sounds very warm.The new govt is surely encouraging many people to take up farming again.Free electricity,tripling rural credit,easier rates..!How about free tractors and even a mall in every village with good discounts.Where is all the equity going to come from..?Ok,lets cut the last two out still wheres the money coming from.

The presence of the left means that the glory days for the workers will be back soon.Labour reforms will be only in the interest of the workers,how on earth is that going to bring about private participation in sick Psu's i do no know.

Another very heart warming gesture is ,reforms with a human face.I believe if theres anyone who'll be able to do it,its gonna be the Pm.But theres not sufficient fire power in his alliance to make it happen.I hope he works a way out because he has the capability to be one of India's most progress oriented Pm's ever.

Now I'm sure thats screaming out loud that i'm not biased towards anyone,except Manchester United.

I got his joke yesterday.A pessimist is a person who doesn't milk a cow because hes afraid the milks already sour.I'll add the Indian political optimists just go ahead and eat the cow.



Pleasure,Naviin.

"We must all hang together, or, assuredly, we shall all hang separately." - Benjamin Franklin

Peace On the Borders Of Insanity

Peace On the Borders Of Insanity


Its a historic day,India will play Pakistan in what will hopefully the
first complete tour in 14 years.As i have always said,my generation
has always got the best of sport and it just keeps getting better.

I believe i've watched a bit of sports and the hue and cry about this
series being a peace initiative is generously naive.The Indo-Pak
conflict is primarily about Kashmir which we'll never get back the way
it was,and about cross border terrorism which is now far widespread
then Pakistan to just pull the wires and de-plug it.

Sports is a great ambassador but in this case,lets just focus on
having some great matches.Peace through cricket is just another cheap
BJP trick of garnering votes.I for one believe that India will win a
closely fought series,not as much as because of our cricketing talent
but due to the fact that elections are round the corner and the Indian
government cannot have the dumb India shining perspective lose any sheen.

If you go through the events that have resulted as a consequence of
the Indo-Pak conflict ,it'll hit you that all of it is just cheap
politics.False patriotism just like sex,sells a lot.Not a single
leader has yet been determined to bring peace in the valley and the
lives that have been lost ,have been fueling the dark fires of the
governments formed and vanquished.

A peaceful solution to Kashmir will be divinding it into 2
parts,another partition.Then it'll suddenly hit us that what we were
actually fighting for has been taken for us ,as for them they'll get
what they were playing for.But will it make the separatists happy,my
guess is no.Partitions never make anyone happy is what Humans should
have learned by now.

Lets watch this series as a good dose of cricketing adrenaline and
keep the filth of politics away from the sport which has been in a lot
of turmoil.Theres nothing which captures this country more then the
sound of the willow and lets succumb to the passion of the sport and
not of the underlying themes which have discrept as political ambitions.

Pleasure,Naviin.

Naveen and the Attack of the Cloned Clones

Cloning..well thats one thing i don't talk everyday about.now when i think abt it,i wonder why it was so difficult for me to make a decison about it.Scientific development cannot and should not be abated.The question of how we are going to play god,or even use is for "humanly destuctive" purposes isn't a debate about science.Any decision about human cloning should follow a painstaking and balanced analysis that followed a strict scientific assessment of the genetic and social implications.

Religious leaders have criticised and called on a ban for cloning.they say human cloning is not only unneccesary but also unethical.the word ethical is confusing and not well defined.is making an infertile couple unhappy by helping them have a child,that they can rightfully call their own unethical.Gay's and Lesbians could have children that are biologically related to them .the production of nerve cells which can help treat people with parkinsons disease is just one example where using techniques developed using cloning we are going to treat diseases that were previously un-treatable.the benefits of research on cloning are only going to increase.

As a human society we cannot operate in a controlled vacuum environment.At every step of progress we have think about ethical and moral issues,but can we let our ethics and morals come in the way of scientific development.No,we can't.Religion has always been debated over,the origins of our universe cannot be explained by religion.Neither can it explain why apples don't fly after they ripen,and religion cannot be used to produce electricity and cultivate crops.religious leaders often operate with a miniscule amount of tolerance on controllability and they cannot ask us to stop scientific development.while human dignity and human rights must be protected, it would be a mistake to close the door to future scientific and technological progress which could save lives.

Instead of looking at it at creating and destroying life,religious leaders should have a more tolerable perspective that looks upon it as a way of improving our civilization.potentially destructive scenarious exist but instead of outright banning cloning we should we talking about a code of conduct that should we followed in our path of progress.

New developments in genetic engineering posed some of the greatest challenges that humanity would ever face. Although many applications held promise in preventing and curing disease, others could have consequences beyond the worst nightmares. The technology of most immediate concern was reproductive cloning of human beings.The first step, he said, should be an honest and realistic assessment of the dangers, both scientific and ethical, and the possible benefits of scientific and medical research in the field of reproductive human cloning.it is imperative that international measures be established for reproductive human cloning immediately, before any attempts at that practice were made.the draft convention should also address specific concerns of multi-cultural and multi-religious countries, such as our own, in terms of its acceptance and adaptations to suit local values.the focus should be on what our limits are,and where we stop playing God!

Pleasure,Naviin.