What do you think when someone mentions virgin, someone who hasn't had sex yet. True, but for once am not talking about virgins in the sexual connotation.
The 21st century Virgin, is someone who has not tried out a product/service and is waiting for the first opportunity that allows him to do so. I know its sounds a lot like the usual virgin, that makes my job of explaining easier, but the "Marketing Virginity" fortunately is not a one time opportunity. We can be be veterans in one category, say "Buying and using White colored Toothpaste", and be gracefully untouched in the very similar but suitably diffrentiated " White toothpaste with pink streaks" category.
I'm not going to waste my time of telling you how many "new" SKU's hit retailers/supermarkets every year, infact these days everything, almost everything, is new and improved.
So, what are the "Marketing Virgins" like. Like you and me perhaps ? An inclination to try out everything thats actually "new", category diffrentiated, uniquely positioned and sensibly priced. Everyone's talking of superior quality, whiter clothes, stronger teeth and suddenly the "herd mentality" becomes the only one. Noones superior is quality, makes clothes whiter and teeth stronger. Reminds me of that little guy in Mr Incredibles who said, "Everyones unique actually means that no one really is".
Thats the selling point actually, unique. Mostly everyone thinks he/she is unique, and some of them also thing the products/services they associate themselves with are and not all of them have Alfa Romeo's in their backyard. No one likes staying a Virgin, and the moment you provide them with the opportunity to "lose it", they will.
*No relation whatsover to the Virgin group of companies, et al. Virgin Marketing, is my own creation.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Convocation Speech
Convocation Speech: IIM
Let me start by telling you a modern tale:
Five private equity funds get together to buy a large international steel company. The seller states his price: he wants half the money that the first fund has plus all the money the other four have. He gives them other alternatives as well: he will sell his company for a third of the second fund plus all the money of the others, or a fourth of the third fund plus all that of the others, and so on.
The question is: what is the price the seller wants for the steel company and what size fund does each private equity player have?
Those of you who are mathematically inclined will recognize the problem as one of solving a set of indeterminate equations[1].
Those of you who are students of history will recognize this as one of the many problems from the Bakshali Manuscript[2]. This manuscript, written on pieces of birch bark, was found by a peasant in 1881[3] in a village called Bakshali near
In the Bakshali manuscript, it was five merchants who set out to buy a jewel and not five private equity funds to buy a steel company. But otherwise, the formulation of the problem and the method of finding the answer is the same.
I can see from your faces that you are all eager to go on to the real world of business. I want you to remember that the Bakshali manuscript serves as reminder of the great intellectual tradition you come from.
In 1971, I remember waiting in cap and gown, like you wait today, eager to receive my diploma and set forth to conquer the world. It was on a day much like today, the romantic
This is why I have boasted for years that I have held hands with most of the sex workers of
As I stand here today it is quiet outside. The social battles of the 1970’s seem so far away and quaint.
What is different in today’s
I suppose the e big difference is that the world’s macro economic factors have swung
It started with the Western world’s information technology industries developing in the 1990’s an insatiable demand for low cost English speaking manpower to convert billions of lines of computer code that had been patched together in the early days of the computer industry.
This labour cost arbitrage[8] opportunity has continued. Western financial service, health care and customer service industries have started a transition from a craft mode to an industrial mode. During this transition, they need a large supply of reasonable skilled, low cost, English-knowing workers. Low telecom costs [9]have made it possible to serve this need long-distance from
A second fortuitous wave that is propelling
But big questions stare us in the face and yours is the generation that will have to find the answers to these questions.
What if the rupee that today trades at about Rs 45 to a dollar goes to Rs 20 or even Rs 10 per dollar in the next decade[13]?
What if the current excess liquidity situation in the world tightens and capital becomes risk averse and expensive[14]?
What if millions of our countrymen say we too want to be part of this Shining India[15] that is currently available only to the sons and daughters of people already in the middle class[16].
By that date, some say[17],
But what these reports also say, and this part is often overlooked, is that in 2040, , India’s per capita GDP will be just 15% of that of the United States and a third of that of even Russia.
Another way of putting it is that even thirty five years from now, the average Indian will earn just Rs 5000 a month. On this income he will have to feed and educate his children, look after their healthcare needs, afford entertainment and life insurance. This means he must have a place to stay with clean water supply at say Rs 200 per month,[18], un-interrupted electric power perhaps at 50 paisa per unit at the consumer level, medical insurance at say Rs 10 per person per month and Life insurance perhaps at Rs 5 per person per month.
If we have to achieve this we need to convert our economy to one that has the lowest transaction and transformation costs[19] in the world.
These seem impossible targets to achieve using the current management methods and present economic institutions. We need to devise new paradigms that achieve these targets without any subsidies, and one that allows businesses that provide these services excellent returns on their capital.
In finding answers to such challenges, in the past, all of us in Indian management have borrowed paradigms from the west and force-fitted them into the Indian situation.
For example, we often hear calls for reducing “labour rigidity” in
Similarly, when people cry to “improve quality” as a panacea for competitiveness problems ,they forget that the Six Sigma Quality paradigm was developed by Deming[21] in the context of the 1960’s Japanese consumer electronics boom[22]. It works very well in industries like electronics and auto where efficient assembly is the key to success. Transplant it to creative software product development, for example, and it becomes merely a marketing gimmick and makes little difference to results[23].
Finally, a third example, the much admired US National System of Innovation[24] as it applies to the healthcare industry. We forget that it assumes a State[25] that lays out vast amounts of money in research, allows private companies and individuals to own the patents that rise out of this research, employers who bear the cost of the resultant high-priced health care system. US companies in the older industries[26] find themselves in an impossible situation today and American business and political leaders are desperately trying to find a way out of this debilitating system.
In a few years many of you will head large corporations and will be responsible for producing the vast array of products and service that our fellow country men will need. Others among you will hopefully join academics and contribute to theory. Whatever you do, please remember the inheritance you carry within you and the obligation that you owe to your less fortunate countrymen.
Please remember that each management paradigm[27] has its societal context and cannot be that easily borrowed. Original management paradigms[28] to address the Indian challenges have to be developed and it is your generation that will have to do that.
Be inspired by the early examples that demonstrate such a possibility:
The Aravind Eye Care System that treats over 1.4 million patients each year, two-thirds of them – or almost a million patients – for free is often cited as an example. They apparently succeed because they have improved surgical practice and invented low-cost eye implants.[29]
If you succeed in doing this[30] you will release a tsunami-like demand that will not only create jobs for the millions coming on to the job market but also allow them to live a fulfilled life in which life’s necessities are within their reach.
If you succeed, Indian managers and management theory would have made its own unique contribution to the world and you will personally have lived a worthwhile life.
Our ancestors have been doing cleverer things and for very long. The Bakshali Manuscript is evidence of this.
If you occasionally wonder whether this immense task is within your talent, remind yourselves that you come from ancestors that created the Bakshali Manuscript. If you ever doubt the power of ideas to transform the world, be inspired by the Bakshali Manuscript- it’s written on crude birch bark, the language in which it is written has been long extinct, but the power of its methods is relevant even today.
Thank you very much for inviting me today- I wish you all a very successful management career.
Cricketing Superheroes, Media Monkeys and Fundamentalist bastards.
Oh well, another world cup. We are out already and the media is busy investigating who is to blame, and people who've hardly accomplished anything in cricket are voicing opinions about Sachin, who probably has done a lot more for cricket than all the rest.
India had won like 3 out of 12 matches played abroad in the 15 months before the world cup, the team was never good enough to win. The media monkeys hype it all up, well they have to sell, and we think they are going to win. The kiwis/Sa are way too good, lanka could do a surprise with mr jayasuriya defying age, like golden Glen.
India were not good enough to win, but they were not bad enough to get out so soon. I did bet on India losing to them ( hey jigs, u gotta listen buddy), but that was because everything was going wrong for India. We made abrupt team changes, changed tactics too often, and a hardworking team, that was more focussed was going to beat us.Remember France-Senegal, 98, (i had bet on that as well).
In the context of what the team achieved, i'm sad, like everyone else, but thats i don't think we need new coaches, new teams, new players et al, thats ridiculous.
Replace Sachin ? With whom, raina or kaif ? Agreed hes not the player he used to be, hes become very boring, and hes never really played in crunch matches, his recent record is still "dcent" enough. A raina, or a kaif will do worse, you can't replace him unless theres someone else who deserves a place in the XI, and when theres someone, there is no argument.
People need to get some perspective, you can't really believe everything the media prints and so called experts say, India were bad, and to add they under performed, and in sports it happens. We expect too much out of them anyway, next time we scream at them or swear at them, lets ask if we ourselves always perform miracles all the time.
Sampras'/Schumachers'/Ali's, all have been through difficult times, and if this is how we react to them now, we should not expect any comebacks from our boys.If they continue to under perform and still are being selected, theres something wrong with the system, so fight that, don't break players houses or burn their posters. They are human too, and they are representing us, they may not win everything, and get humiliated at times, but they are still our team, if we don't cheer them up to fight, who else will ?
The only reason they can do endorsements are because people watch, they need money like everyone else. I've heard so many illogical comments about how players should be banned from commercials et al. Its as if people don't like to many money, hypocrisy is prevalent in this country as stupidity, theres nothing wrong with anyone encashing on his "value" in an open market.
I hope the boys in blue bounce back, once they start winning, the same voices which are calling for their heads will start worshiping the reborn heroes again.
I had to add this as appreciation of how the media makes it easy for people to recognize how much shit they are made off, Newspaper reviews of the move 300, were, " worth watchin 300 times", "magnificient" et al, now that was probably the most bullshit you can fit in one movie, and if this is how the monkeys feel about it, you know its worth not reading/basing ur opinions on.
Election time again, it'll nice to see anti-incumbency playing tricks again, the SP anyways has too many cracks now. Somehow, i agree, with a Gandhi as the PM, the "fundamentalist bastards" would not have desecrated the Babri masjid, the planning that went behind it, the legal loopholes used to its advantage are worth reading just to remind you, how far people can go in the name of hate, or well, watch final solution, its even better.
Come what may, i hope they don't get any slice of the action, as i've written before, i prefer political scumbags to "fundamentalist bastards".
India had won like 3 out of 12 matches played abroad in the 15 months before the world cup, the team was never good enough to win. The media monkeys hype it all up, well they have to sell, and we think they are going to win. The kiwis/Sa are way too good, lanka could do a surprise with mr jayasuriya defying age, like golden Glen.
India were not good enough to win, but they were not bad enough to get out so soon. I did bet on India losing to them ( hey jigs, u gotta listen buddy), but that was because everything was going wrong for India. We made abrupt team changes, changed tactics too often, and a hardworking team, that was more focussed was going to beat us.Remember France-Senegal, 98, (i had bet on that as well).
In the context of what the team achieved, i'm sad, like everyone else, but thats i don't think we need new coaches, new teams, new players et al, thats ridiculous.
Replace Sachin ? With whom, raina or kaif ? Agreed hes not the player he used to be, hes become very boring, and hes never really played in crunch matches, his recent record is still "dcent" enough. A raina, or a kaif will do worse, you can't replace him unless theres someone else who deserves a place in the XI, and when theres someone, there is no argument.
People need to get some perspective, you can't really believe everything the media prints and so called experts say, India were bad, and to add they under performed, and in sports it happens. We expect too much out of them anyway, next time we scream at them or swear at them, lets ask if we ourselves always perform miracles all the time.
Sampras'/Schumachers'/Ali's, all have been through difficult times, and if this is how we react to them now, we should not expect any comebacks from our boys.If they continue to under perform and still are being selected, theres something wrong with the system, so fight that, don't break players houses or burn their posters. They are human too, and they are representing us, they may not win everything, and get humiliated at times, but they are still our team, if we don't cheer them up to fight, who else will ?
The only reason they can do endorsements are because people watch, they need money like everyone else. I've heard so many illogical comments about how players should be banned from commercials et al. Its as if people don't like to many money, hypocrisy is prevalent in this country as stupidity, theres nothing wrong with anyone encashing on his "value" in an open market.
I hope the boys in blue bounce back, once they start winning, the same voices which are calling for their heads will start worshiping the reborn heroes again.
I had to add this as appreciation of how the media makes it easy for people to recognize how much shit they are made off, Newspaper reviews of the move 300, were, " worth watchin 300 times", "magnificient" et al, now that was probably the most bullshit you can fit in one movie, and if this is how the monkeys feel about it, you know its worth not reading/basing ur opinions on.
Election time again, it'll nice to see anti-incumbency playing tricks again, the SP anyways has too many cracks now. Somehow, i agree, with a Gandhi as the PM, the "fundamentalist bastards" would not have desecrated the Babri masjid, the planning that went behind it, the legal loopholes used to its advantage are worth reading just to remind you, how far people can go in the name of hate, or well, watch final solution, its even better.
Come what may, i hope they don't get any slice of the action, as i've written before, i prefer political scumbags to "fundamentalist bastards".
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Origins
I keep reading(and watching) porn regularly (yea i'm very horny and i like to fuck), and i stumbled across a book about the spiritual forms of love.It started with trying to define "Love" by explaining its origins. It said, love began as raw desire, which led to the "early" man to physically empower the "early"woman in a moment of passion or, a case of barter, He may have thrown her a banana or a nut, for which she, in return, received him in her chambers.
Interesting, so Mankind started on the ladder of civilization by raping women or by making them whores. If you are attracted to someone, you better go fuck him/her and soon he/she will be in love with you or by making an offer he/she can't refuse.
Its disgusting when someone as undeveloped as man tries to explain things beyond his comprehension, like Love, Physics and life. The world would be better off if we divert that money into subsidising sex toys and chocolates.
Interesting, so Mankind started on the ladder of civilization by raping women or by making them whores. If you are attracted to someone, you better go fuck him/her and soon he/she will be in love with you or by making an offer he/she can't refuse.
Its disgusting when someone as undeveloped as man tries to explain things beyond his comprehension, like Love, Physics and life. The world would be better off if we divert that money into subsidising sex toys and chocolates.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Deviance
I've fallen for this concept of deviance, the prof said naviin there are no deviant customers , just biased researchers.So bloody true, i love that deviance, i love those deviants.
In a world full of round circles, i want to see some round squares. I could call it niche marketing (he did), lets take out marketing from the subject, don't we all wish we were all as unique as snowflakes, don't we all want to be deviants. I don't care a hoot about smooth and perfection et al, give me rough edges, give me people who are twisted enough to think the world can be made up of tiny strings, people who think selling jute pants with copper rivets is a good idea.
Deviants are fun, deviance is awesome.
In a world full of round circles, i want to see some round squares. I could call it niche marketing (he did), lets take out marketing from the subject, don't we all wish we were all as unique as snowflakes, don't we all want to be deviants. I don't care a hoot about smooth and perfection et al, give me rough edges, give me people who are twisted enough to think the world can be made up of tiny strings, people who think selling jute pants with copper rivets is a good idea.
Deviants are fun, deviance is awesome.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Being
Business ethics is turning out to be much ( more ) interesting then i ever thought, i've have no faith left in the education system in India. It keeps coming back to the same old discussion "Right or wrong".I have not changed a lot in the last 10 years, so i still believe that nothing is essentially right, or wrong for that matter. Societal norms, is a different story altogether.Is it easy to "live" oblivious of society, of social structure and the norms that it comes with.
What happens when you decide to "live" by your own, to do what you "want to" and not that is to be done and can such freedom be allowed in the shitbag we have created called human existence.Do people deserve such freedom, does everyone deserve to be ?
My sense of logic tells me that if theres one person who is a "nay" to the above questions, it'll be a "nay" for all.We cannot have one rapist amongst us with the freedom to be (rape) because , well society is usually good at encouraging such bastards and soon we'll have a Rapists Liberation movement.
What about the rest ( of us ), don't we deserve better.Nay.We are an integral part of society, we want to "be" but we can't, so we will die trying to be, rather "being".Which isn't bad really.
One thing our de- civilization has gifted us right from the instant we begin existence is , among other things, an identity crisis.If you have a penis you will (mostly) grow up to be man, or a woman.Stereotyping manifests itself upon us.We are taught to be "honest", "good students", "obedient" but noone asks us to be ourselves.We are never told to "be". In the convoluted process we call growing up, we acquire ( we don't really learn a lot ) the skills of joining a "herd", we become experts at "group thinking".We learn the art of conforming to predefined rules of existence, of set rules of society, we never really do anything ourselves.Someone else has already done all our thinking, deciding and provided us with very few choices.Reminds me of CAT.
In the midst of all the chaos we lose probably the only thing we are born with, ourself, our being.To make sure we don't lose our identity in society, we follow norms, abide by norms and make sure we "fit" in to the structure of modern society.If we could've been born again, at different places and times, won't we be different people.Where has our freedom gone, we don't make any decisions.Society makes them for us, when it makes sure we don't do things on our own, when we ensure that we don't do things to be looked upon as someone different from the "usual".The "usual" is all that there is.Suddenly we realize one day that we are not us, just one of "someone's".We pass with flying colors the ultimate test of mediocrity.
I'll probably lose my balls trying to be "me" and some other things as well.Will it be worth it, as of now, you bet it is.
What happens when you decide to "live" by your own, to do what you "want to" and not that is to be done and can such freedom be allowed in the shitbag we have created called human existence.Do people deserve such freedom, does everyone deserve to be ?
My sense of logic tells me that if theres one person who is a "nay" to the above questions, it'll be a "nay" for all.We cannot have one rapist amongst us with the freedom to be (rape) because , well society is usually good at encouraging such bastards and soon we'll have a Rapists Liberation movement.
What about the rest ( of us ), don't we deserve better.Nay.We are an integral part of society, we want to "be" but we can't, so we will die trying to be, rather "being".Which isn't bad really.
One thing our de- civilization has gifted us right from the instant we begin existence is , among other things, an identity crisis.If you have a penis you will (mostly) grow up to be man, or a woman.Stereotyping manifests itself upon us.We are taught to be "honest", "good students", "obedient" but noone asks us to be ourselves.We are never told to "be". In the convoluted process we call growing up, we acquire ( we don't really learn a lot ) the skills of joining a "herd", we become experts at "group thinking".We learn the art of conforming to predefined rules of existence, of set rules of society, we never really do anything ourselves.Someone else has already done all our thinking, deciding and provided us with very few choices.Reminds me of CAT.
In the midst of all the chaos we lose probably the only thing we are born with, ourself, our being.To make sure we don't lose our identity in society, we follow norms, abide by norms and make sure we "fit" in to the structure of modern society.If we could've been born again, at different places and times, won't we be different people.Where has our freedom gone, we don't make any decisions.Society makes them for us, when it makes sure we don't do things on our own, when we ensure that we don't do things to be looked upon as someone different from the "usual".The "usual" is all that there is.Suddenly we realize one day that we are not us, just one of "someone's".We pass with flying colors the ultimate test of mediocrity.
I'll probably lose my balls trying to be "me" and some other things as well.Will it be worth it, as of now, you bet it is.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Reply to VSV
I'd like to quote a figure form Voltaire's legendary work Candide, shes a wretched bunch of misery with half a buttock, she says that she contemplated killing herself a number of times but she didn't, its very human to be saddled with shit and still love life, love existence with the defiance of all rationality and logic.
Lots of issues you've come up with, the people we elect enforce their simplistic and ruralist policies on us, and well, I'm a pessimist so its actually true for me that the world is getting screwed up everyday.
As we've discussed, theres no real GDP growth happening (if anyone wants the details, please ask ), Iran will make the nuke bomb anyway, Petrol prices will keep rising, Inflation will never leave us, there will be more rapes, murders, communal riots once in a while, madrasi's will hate sardars and everyone else too, You and I will hate marashtrians, madrasis, gujus, bihari's..everyone except goans, discrimination will not only become institutionalised maybe even secularised and normalised, we grew up thinking its hindu's vs muslims, maybe our kids will grow up thinking its me vs u (they will play football though) , bramhinical superstitions can get worse, after discrimination on the basis of religion, color, caste, language maybe we'll turn to discriminate on the basis of height/weight/ eye color , we'll spend even more money on making nukes than on education and poverty , education might become a still bigger load of crap, in short, things will probably keep getting worse.
We cant change governments, kill people we think are bad, or eliminate evil in society at one go, but the earlier we can.Yes, what we were taught in school, everything happens for the best, and that the world is a rational place its another big sham.Things get worse or better, either way you let them and the world is no more rational than Ronaldinho's freekick that swings both ways.
So, what do we do, become arm chair pandits, write BS ( bullshit) , and become slaves to the system.Do you accept the second hand treatment given to you, or do you treat people second had as well, in revenge, do you try to rape women late nights, do you cut trees to put up hoardings, no to all that, and no to a lot more.The world might be falling apart, are you, no your not, yes you lie awake thinking of whats gonna happen and it all boils down and you come up with that and maybe watch fight club again.We think of the change that we can help happen, changing the world is a slower process than evolution but against all odds evolution did take place, so i don't wanna bet against this one.
I think we first "talked" after watching fight club, the fight goes on, the club never shuts down.Its not just you, binai, and me who decide not to be slaves to a system.Thats the thing, the fact that we keep thinking against the system and maybe on our way will drag more people into thinking the same way is what we can try to do, and maybe more along the way, surely more.We cant change governments, kill people we think are bad, or eliminate evil in society at one go, but the earlier we can.
Lots of issues you've come up with, the people we elect enforce their simplistic and ruralist policies on us, and well, I'm a pessimist so its actually true for me that the world is getting screwed up everyday.
As we've discussed, theres no real GDP growth happening (if anyone wants the details, please ask ), Iran will make the nuke bomb anyway, Petrol prices will keep rising, Inflation will never leave us, there will be more rapes, murders, communal riots once in a while, madrasi's will hate sardars and everyone else too, You and I will hate marashtrians, madrasis, gujus, bihari's..everyone except goans, discrimination will not only become institutionalised maybe even secularised and normalised, we grew up thinking its hindu's vs muslims, maybe our kids will grow up thinking its me vs u (they will play football though) , bramhinical superstitions can get worse, after discrimination on the basis of religion, color, caste, language maybe we'll turn to discriminate on the basis of height/weight/ eye color , we'll spend even more money on making nukes than on education and poverty , education might become a still bigger load of crap, in short, things will probably keep getting worse.
We cant change governments, kill people we think are bad, or eliminate evil in society at one go, but the earlier we can.Yes, what we were taught in school, everything happens for the best, and that the world is a rational place its another big sham.Things get worse or better, either way you let them and the world is no more rational than Ronaldinho's freekick that swings both ways.
So, what do we do, become arm chair pandits, write BS ( bullshit) , and become slaves to the system.Do you accept the second hand treatment given to you, or do you treat people second had as well, in revenge, do you try to rape women late nights, do you cut trees to put up hoardings, no to all that, and no to a lot more.The world might be falling apart, are you, no your not, yes you lie awake thinking of whats gonna happen and it all boils down and you come up with that and maybe watch fight club again.We think of the change that we can help happen, changing the world is a slower process than evolution but against all odds evolution did take place, so i don't wanna bet against this one.
I think we first "talked" after watching fight club, the fight goes on, the club never shuts down.Its not just you, binai, and me who decide not to be slaves to a system.Thats the thing, the fact that we keep thinking against the system and maybe on our way will drag more people into thinking the same way is what we can try to do, and maybe more along the way, surely more.We cant change governments, kill people we think are bad, or eliminate evil in society at one go, but the earlier we can.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Anti - Convention
Sometimes i just love being an Indian, this is one of those.India , it seems, is used to screwing up convention, let me explain.India was the nation to rebel against colonialism and was responsible for wiping it out, so that's one.Before the NPT, there was the CTBT, India didn't sign it, and we didn't sign NPT either and still we managed to make them both look ridiculous.
India received sanctions after the 1998 blasts inspite of not being a signatory of the NPT, in one stroke we had made the treaty look meaningless.The biggest hit we took after that was the ban on importing nuclear fuel, we do have nuclear resources but they are enough only for civilian purposes not for making bombs and ,as anyone would guess, its more fun making bombs then energy on slow reactors.
Today we signed a "historic" treaty with the US, again the most important clause is the one which allows us to import nuclear fuel for "perpetuity" till we keep out 14 civilian nuclear reactors under safeguards.But, we haven't signed the NPT so where will the safeguards come from..?
In the NPT there are the nuclear powers and theres everyone else, and now, thanks to Mr Bush, India will form a 3rd category for which the safeguards haven't been worked out, so well there goes the NPT.I understand the concern of the Left/SP etc about the foreign policies of the US, but more than logical its political, the Left have to oppose the US, the SP , which doesn't have any respect of its own has to borrow some from their beloved Left.They argue about the safeguards of not being in our national interest, and of course Mr Singh is the "weakest" PM ever, as per Mr Advani so he usually bends all ways.The point that they have forgotten is that India doesn't have to put its defence reactors under the IAEA scanner, yes by virtue of not being a nuclear nation under the NPT we won't be allowed to shift our reactors from one category to another, but that doesn't take anything away, our defence reactors are covered and we can import fuel to continue our research and make more bombs.The weakest PM ever has just managed to pull out possibly the strongest deal ever.
Lets think that the US Congress doesn't pass the bill, will it be a complete failure, No.This deal is an indication that America wants a stronger India, for whatever purposes that might be.We gatecrashed the Colonialism party and now we are doing the same to proliferation.Forget the sports allocation in the Union Budget 05-06, lets smile, we'r Indian.
India received sanctions after the 1998 blasts inspite of not being a signatory of the NPT, in one stroke we had made the treaty look meaningless.The biggest hit we took after that was the ban on importing nuclear fuel, we do have nuclear resources but they are enough only for civilian purposes not for making bombs and ,as anyone would guess, its more fun making bombs then energy on slow reactors.
Today we signed a "historic" treaty with the US, again the most important clause is the one which allows us to import nuclear fuel for "perpetuity" till we keep out 14 civilian nuclear reactors under safeguards.But, we haven't signed the NPT so where will the safeguards come from..?
In the NPT there are the nuclear powers and theres everyone else, and now, thanks to Mr Bush, India will form a 3rd category for which the safeguards haven't been worked out, so well there goes the NPT.I understand the concern of the Left/SP etc about the foreign policies of the US, but more than logical its political, the Left have to oppose the US, the SP , which doesn't have any respect of its own has to borrow some from their beloved Left.They argue about the safeguards of not being in our national interest, and of course Mr Singh is the "weakest" PM ever, as per Mr Advani so he usually bends all ways.The point that they have forgotten is that India doesn't have to put its defence reactors under the IAEA scanner, yes by virtue of not being a nuclear nation under the NPT we won't be allowed to shift our reactors from one category to another, but that doesn't take anything away, our defence reactors are covered and we can import fuel to continue our research and make more bombs.The weakest PM ever has just managed to pull out possibly the strongest deal ever.
Lets think that the US Congress doesn't pass the bill, will it be a complete failure, No.This deal is an indication that America wants a stronger India, for whatever purposes that might be.We gatecrashed the Colonialism party and now we are doing the same to proliferation.Forget the sports allocation in the Union Budget 05-06, lets smile, we'r Indian.
Shame, Shame, National Shame
Capt Gopinath calls the condition of our airports a "national shame and an issue of national emergency", Praful Patel agrees to that. I am not against privatization but the neo - jingoistic vibes that these two idiots emanate is a case of "mental shame and mental emergency".
Its estimated that India's total air passenger traffic is around 80 million a year. More people travel by trains, buses and roads everyday. Around 4 years back when the government thought about modernizing the Mumbai and Delhi airports, the estimated cost was 2,400 crores/2,800 crores (both in rupees) and it also decided that it didn't have that kind of money, so it was a case of rationality that they started looking for private investment. Yes, i agree that we are a poor country and of all entities the government shouldn't spend that much money to benefit less than 5 % of our people.
Maybe it was a tad too late for India, most countries had de-regulated the civil aviation sector in the 1980s and some even had gone ahead and privatized the national carriers and airports. In India , besides Mumbai and Delhi, the operation and management of the airports at Chennai and Kolkatta were going to be privatised. Hyderabad and Bangalore were going to get new International airports.
During the entire bidding process, which was brimmed with opacity , no one actively opposed the move, infact it had been so long in coming that even the media interest waned. Lull before the storm, maybe. After the first round of evaluation done by independent regulators (ABN -AMRO Bank) only 2 bidders got 80 % and above saw their bids being evaluated further, then the bids were sent to another committee headed by E.Sreedharan it disqualified one of the bids and sent the report to the EGOM. No fingers were pointed at ABN AMRO or the two other committees and an inter - ministerial group that had verified the bids. We all know what happened next, and who won, and who went on strike et al.
The most predictable outcome, and the most shameful, was the strike by the AAI employees. I believe its democratic to strike, but that doesn't mean you leave your work and go around making a mess. A strike should be a registered protest and the government should listen to the protest and work to solve the problem, issuing statements that the strike is illegal and that there were be consequences don't befit a democracy and so the government usually gets what it deserves. Getting out a bit, the Bhagwad Gita states that God shall fulfill every desire of man to the limit he deserves, not covets. The govt and gopi are getting what they deserve.
Regardless of the fact that more people travel by other methods of public transport than by air every year, i believe its crucial to modernize the airports, but is it enough reason to go around in media calling it a "national shame" and trying to get a sympathy vote. I was traveling by train from Pune to Bombay on Friday and since i hadn't reserved my ticket in advance i had to get a general one, for some reason the train was really crowded and i had to carry my bag around my neck and i actually ended up spraining my neck, and my back still hurts. There will be a lot more people facing a similar problem everyday than air travelers over a year, so what needs to be fixed first. Gopi is a businessman and i understand his concerns in a already threatening industry with low margins and intense competition and that he wants to buy more planes and wants more place to keep them, when they are not flying. Its easy to remember that when fog had enveloped the capital, air deccan promptly closed its counters and left its passengers stranded, no that's not national shame, its easier to blame the airports for that.
The Airport modernization process is the best example of the governments blind, single minded obsession with privatization, for the Govt privatization means complete abdication of its role and easy revenue to come by. Modernization can also mean changing of internal policies and work ethics to provide more efficiency and transparency at all levels, but we as a democracy don't deserve it. We've never learned from past experiences and we've not learnt from the Gita. We never learn.
Its estimated that India's total air passenger traffic is around 80 million a year. More people travel by trains, buses and roads everyday. Around 4 years back when the government thought about modernizing the Mumbai and Delhi airports, the estimated cost was 2,400 crores/2,800 crores (both in rupees) and it also decided that it didn't have that kind of money, so it was a case of rationality that they started looking for private investment. Yes, i agree that we are a poor country and of all entities the government shouldn't spend that much money to benefit less than 5 % of our people.
Maybe it was a tad too late for India, most countries had de-regulated the civil aviation sector in the 1980s and some even had gone ahead and privatized the national carriers and airports. In India , besides Mumbai and Delhi, the operation and management of the airports at Chennai and Kolkatta were going to be privatised. Hyderabad and Bangalore were going to get new International airports.
During the entire bidding process, which was brimmed with opacity , no one actively opposed the move, infact it had been so long in coming that even the media interest waned. Lull before the storm, maybe. After the first round of evaluation done by independent regulators (ABN -AMRO Bank) only 2 bidders got 80 % and above saw their bids being evaluated further, then the bids were sent to another committee headed by E.Sreedharan it disqualified one of the bids and sent the report to the EGOM. No fingers were pointed at ABN AMRO or the two other committees and an inter - ministerial group that had verified the bids. We all know what happened next, and who won, and who went on strike et al.
The most predictable outcome, and the most shameful, was the strike by the AAI employees. I believe its democratic to strike, but that doesn't mean you leave your work and go around making a mess. A strike should be a registered protest and the government should listen to the protest and work to solve the problem, issuing statements that the strike is illegal and that there were be consequences don't befit a democracy and so the government usually gets what it deserves. Getting out a bit, the Bhagwad Gita states that God shall fulfill every desire of man to the limit he deserves, not covets. The govt and gopi are getting what they deserve.
Regardless of the fact that more people travel by other methods of public transport than by air every year, i believe its crucial to modernize the airports, but is it enough reason to go around in media calling it a "national shame" and trying to get a sympathy vote. I was traveling by train from Pune to Bombay on Friday and since i hadn't reserved my ticket in advance i had to get a general one, for some reason the train was really crowded and i had to carry my bag around my neck and i actually ended up spraining my neck, and my back still hurts. There will be a lot more people facing a similar problem everyday than air travelers over a year, so what needs to be fixed first. Gopi is a businessman and i understand his concerns in a already threatening industry with low margins and intense competition and that he wants to buy more planes and wants more place to keep them, when they are not flying. Its easy to remember that when fog had enveloped the capital, air deccan promptly closed its counters and left its passengers stranded, no that's not national shame, its easier to blame the airports for that.
The Airport modernization process is the best example of the governments blind, single minded obsession with privatization, for the Govt privatization means complete abdication of its role and easy revenue to come by. Modernization can also mean changing of internal policies and work ethics to provide more efficiency and transparency at all levels, but we as a democracy don't deserve it. We've never learned from past experiences and we've not learnt from the Gita. We never learn.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Shall we outsource the PM ?
A Terrorist attack on a premier educational institution, now why didn't anyone think of it yet.I did, in fact i vividly remember a conversation i had with a colleague wherein we veered from talking about the middle east, to India - Pak , when i told her about the sense it made to attack places of educational importance in India, the example we took was TIFR (maybe its next).
It just makes super "common sense" to me.Adolf Hitler wrote in Mein Kampf about how the first step in unifying Germany would be to destroy the Jewish press, and Jewish schools.(Although he's also written that almost all the newspapers in Austrian Germany belonged to the Jews, and they indulged in a mass brainwashing programme to keep the Germans subdued.I have neither been able to refute his claims nor can i deny them, for the lack of material evidence.Maybe he was right, or maybe not).Sun Tzu has mentioned about how the enemy needs to be weakened first, its supplies hampered, before you go ahead to conquer it.Now if i could get my hands on these texts am sure militant groups too could go ahead and use them for their benefit.
The fact that India is a soft target has been proved over, and over again.I believe i had written somewhere before that Indian Governments lack the balls to take decisive, and strong action against terrorism.The only step ahead in the past few years was the declaration that Indian Governments will not negotiate with terrorists, how good that can be, i do not know.Delhi, Bombay and now Bangalore, wonder who's next.From parliaments to educational institutes, we are vulnerable all the way.
In this period of strong economic growth, we need a strong leader who can channelize the benefits of that growth to the poorest states, and one who can take strong decisions, and implements actions to erase the banner of "soft target" that sits under our national flag.I believe we need a Indira Gandhi.MS was a good bureaucrat and a great FM, but that guy isn't a politician and he displays the tendency of bureaucrats to please everyone but still he's what we have got and i can't think of any other leader who can take his position and manage the country with the intelligence and ruthlessness both in sync.Just like FDI and foreign coaches in sports , we need an expat PM.A Putin would do just fine.
It just makes super "common sense" to me.Adolf Hitler wrote in Mein Kampf about how the first step in unifying Germany would be to destroy the Jewish press, and Jewish schools.(Although he's also written that almost all the newspapers in Austrian Germany belonged to the Jews, and they indulged in a mass brainwashing programme to keep the Germans subdued.I have neither been able to refute his claims nor can i deny them, for the lack of material evidence.Maybe he was right, or maybe not).Sun Tzu has mentioned about how the enemy needs to be weakened first, its supplies hampered, before you go ahead to conquer it.Now if i could get my hands on these texts am sure militant groups too could go ahead and use them for their benefit.
The fact that India is a soft target has been proved over, and over again.I believe i had written somewhere before that Indian Governments lack the balls to take decisive, and strong action against terrorism.The only step ahead in the past few years was the declaration that Indian Governments will not negotiate with terrorists, how good that can be, i do not know.Delhi, Bombay and now Bangalore, wonder who's next.From parliaments to educational institutes, we are vulnerable all the way.
In this period of strong economic growth, we need a strong leader who can channelize the benefits of that growth to the poorest states, and one who can take strong decisions, and implements actions to erase the banner of "soft target" that sits under our national flag.I believe we need a Indira Gandhi.MS was a good bureaucrat and a great FM, but that guy isn't a politician and he displays the tendency of bureaucrats to please everyone but still he's what we have got and i can't think of any other leader who can take his position and manage the country with the intelligence and ruthlessness both in sync.Just like FDI and foreign coaches in sports , we need an expat PM.A Putin would do just fine.
Monday, December 26, 2005
2005
2005, its almost over and looking back, clouded by the visions of the future, it wasn't bad at all.Nowhere in the vicinity of bad.The first new formula one champion after a considerably long time, a thrilling Champions league final, Federers supremacy almost being threatened and a lot other "nice" things.
It also saw democratic processes being initiated in two war ravaged countries - Iraq and Afghanistan, which is a fantastic achievement.Amid attacks and threats of violence, people went to polls after decades of nonsecular rule and now there is hope, which is more than what the people in the respective countries ever had just a couple of years ago.Saddam Hussein being captured and brought to trial, now who would have thought of that.
Nature stamped its authority as the supreme giver, with earthquakes and hurricanes closely followed by the year of the Tsunami, Nature gave a wake up call to be respected, maybe its been enough.Terry Schiavo's death doesn't end the Man Vs Nature debate, and in many ways its hardly begun.I still think the removal of her life support system was "inhuman" and against basic human rights, if the creator wanted us to decide on death he might as well have given us a knob.Evolution might have conjured up such a biological sub-system.
One event, that probably gets my vote as the "Event of the year" was the withdrawal of troops from Gaza.Controversial, yes, as i vividly remember a Jewish woman, in tears, saying "For the first time in Jewish history, Jews have driven Jews out of their holy home".Regardless a comprehensive victory for peace efforts in the middle east.Wounded memories can never be the guide to a peaceful future.Terrorists meanwhile took centre stage during the London and Jordan bombings.The end to terrorism is not in sight, and the threat only seems to increase.The threat to terrorism is Globalisation, and the more we are able to subjugate economic borders and barriers between different classes of people, the more we'll feel safer.
Just like a new formula one champ, people also got a brand new, conservative , Pope, Joseph Ratzinger of Germany and a new CM in Bihar.The latter, especially, holds a lot of promise and isn't the usual run of the mill Bihari politician.If Bihar, UP, and MP clock good growth rates, the aim of a 10 % growth rate won't look unrealistic rather unambitious.
Apart from all the above mentioned changes, things were pretty much the same.Tiger woods captured (yet) another Masters and added to his tally with a British Open as well.Cricket saw the Australians tormented by one Freddie Flintoff, and the Ashes shifting continents for the first time in 16 years.Though cynics will argue that it was the absence of Glen Mcgrath that shifted the Balance, the trophy knows where its going to stay for a year.India saw the emergence of a team with actual sporting character and mental toughness and the future only looks bright, except for the unnecessary presence of a former captain.I would do injustice to a certain 19 year old, Aftab Ahmed if i don't mention his heroics when Bangladesh defeated Australia.He scored only 20 odd, but he kept his head to win a match against by and far the best team in the world.Magnificient achievement.
Ah, the champions league final..half time Liverpool 0 - 3 Milan.There was only one place the title was going, and then the struggle of one man,the stirring deeds and indefatigable spirit of one individual inspired the other 10 and in 15 minutes of absolute madness the meanest defence in Europe conceded 3 goals, and suddenly the scousers were chanting "We're gonna win 4-3" and they did.Football never had it so good.I hope i get to see another Final as this one in my lifetime.
In league football is got as boring as it never did, Romans Chelsea ate everything in its way to win last season and look good again.My beloved Manchester United look lost yet again and my brother Galacticos look the same in Spain, so no ones really in sight of bragging rights.Barca look superb but will they be consistent enough to get glory in Europe, or will they fall to the all conquering Bianconeri.Juventus have looked every bit the Italian mafia in their 15 odd wins this season, especially against inter, they defend ruthlessly and more than
attacking the opponent work on creating opportunities for attacking.
Who will rise upto the challenge of stopping Federer on Grass ?Going from this years experiences no one will, hes above the rest by a good couple of notches.He does everything else that anyone else does, only does it better.Lets hope that some star may rise, and there'll actually will be competition at Wimbledon.Raikkonen crashing out while in the lead, and Alonso chasing him down till the end, and taking the chequered flag, that's been the story of F1 this year.Single minded determination and perseverance paying it off for the Spaniard and we saw a new F1 champion.
One country that has had it pretty good this year, apart from England is NZ.The All Blacks, for me the sporting phenomenon of the year, the Bledisloe Cup, the Tri-Nations, the Grand Slam and the mauling of the Lions showed that Graham Henry's side were a class above the rest, and the now legendary tackle on Brian O'Driscoll by Umaga and Keven Mealamu, the new haka and the emergence of Dan Carter as an All Black legend and it is easy to see why 2005 was a year of redemption for the All Blacks.The men from league just pip the men from union as their victory was totally unexpected in the Tri-Nations and that 24-0 mauling of the Aussies, that'll live long, really long.Even bigger was the triumph of Michael Campbell at the US open, forced to qualify for the tournament, Campbell produced a masterful display of composed golf to clinch the trophy and hero-like status both in New Zealand and around the world.And just to prove it wasn't a fluke, he then went off to win the World Match Play Championship at Wentworth and he'll never have to buy a drink in NZ ever again.
And then, the man who's done it year after year, critics, opponents withstanding , the 7th Tour De France title for Lance Armstrong, his domination of perhaps the toughest sporting event is undeniable.There was little doubt that Armstrong was going to retire on a high, fastest in the time trials, strongest in the mountains and the captain of the fastest team, he duly destroyed his rivals on the streets of France.The lingering cloud of doping still hovers above Armstrong but his talent has never been in doubt.
I can almost see it now, 2006, the year of the the FIFA world cup, the biggest gratification of them all and the Winter Olympics at Torino, along with the rest of the usual happenings.Its bound to be a cracker of a game.
It also saw democratic processes being initiated in two war ravaged countries - Iraq and Afghanistan, which is a fantastic achievement.Amid attacks and threats of violence, people went to polls after decades of nonsecular rule and now there is hope, which is more than what the people in the respective countries ever had just a couple of years ago.Saddam Hussein being captured and brought to trial, now who would have thought of that.
Nature stamped its authority as the supreme giver, with earthquakes and hurricanes closely followed by the year of the Tsunami, Nature gave a wake up call to be respected, maybe its been enough.Terry Schiavo's death doesn't end the Man Vs Nature debate, and in many ways its hardly begun.I still think the removal of her life support system was "inhuman" and against basic human rights, if the creator wanted us to decide on death he might as well have given us a knob.Evolution might have conjured up such a biological sub-system.
One event, that probably gets my vote as the "Event of the year" was the withdrawal of troops from Gaza.Controversial, yes, as i vividly remember a Jewish woman, in tears, saying "For the first time in Jewish history, Jews have driven Jews out of their holy home".Regardless a comprehensive victory for peace efforts in the middle east.Wounded memories can never be the guide to a peaceful future.Terrorists meanwhile took centre stage during the London and Jordan bombings.The end to terrorism is not in sight, and the threat only seems to increase.The threat to terrorism is Globalisation, and the more we are able to subjugate economic borders and barriers between different classes of people, the more we'll feel safer.
Just like a new formula one champ, people also got a brand new, conservative , Pope, Joseph Ratzinger of Germany and a new CM in Bihar.The latter, especially, holds a lot of promise and isn't the usual run of the mill Bihari politician.If Bihar, UP, and MP clock good growth rates, the aim of a 10 % growth rate won't look unrealistic rather unambitious.
Apart from all the above mentioned changes, things were pretty much the same.Tiger woods captured (yet) another Masters and added to his tally with a British Open as well.Cricket saw the Australians tormented by one Freddie Flintoff, and the Ashes shifting continents for the first time in 16 years.Though cynics will argue that it was the absence of Glen Mcgrath that shifted the Balance, the trophy knows where its going to stay for a year.India saw the emergence of a team with actual sporting character and mental toughness and the future only looks bright, except for the unnecessary presence of a former captain.I would do injustice to a certain 19 year old, Aftab Ahmed if i don't mention his heroics when Bangladesh defeated Australia.He scored only 20 odd, but he kept his head to win a match against by and far the best team in the world.Magnificient achievement.
Ah, the champions league final..half time Liverpool 0 - 3 Milan.There was only one place the title was going, and then the struggle of one man,the stirring deeds and indefatigable spirit of one individual inspired the other 10 and in 15 minutes of absolute madness the meanest defence in Europe conceded 3 goals, and suddenly the scousers were chanting "We're gonna win 4-3" and they did.Football never had it so good.I hope i get to see another Final as this one in my lifetime.
In league football is got as boring as it never did, Romans Chelsea ate everything in its way to win last season and look good again.My beloved Manchester United look lost yet again and my brother Galacticos look the same in Spain, so no ones really in sight of bragging rights.Barca look superb but will they be consistent enough to get glory in Europe, or will they fall to the all conquering Bianconeri.Juventus have looked every bit the Italian mafia in their 15 odd wins this season, especially against inter, they defend ruthlessly and more than
attacking the opponent work on creating opportunities for attacking.
Who will rise upto the challenge of stopping Federer on Grass ?Going from this years experiences no one will, hes above the rest by a good couple of notches.He does everything else that anyone else does, only does it better.Lets hope that some star may rise, and there'll actually will be competition at Wimbledon.Raikkonen crashing out while in the lead, and Alonso chasing him down till the end, and taking the chequered flag, that's been the story of F1 this year.Single minded determination and perseverance paying it off for the Spaniard and we saw a new F1 champion.
One country that has had it pretty good this year, apart from England is NZ.The All Blacks, for me the sporting phenomenon of the year, the Bledisloe Cup, the Tri-Nations, the Grand Slam and the mauling of the Lions showed that Graham Henry's side were a class above the rest, and the now legendary tackle on Brian O'Driscoll by Umaga and Keven Mealamu, the new haka and the emergence of Dan Carter as an All Black legend and it is easy to see why 2005 was a year of redemption for the All Blacks.The men from league just pip the men from union as their victory was totally unexpected in the Tri-Nations and that 24-0 mauling of the Aussies, that'll live long, really long.Even bigger was the triumph of Michael Campbell at the US open, forced to qualify for the tournament, Campbell produced a masterful display of composed golf to clinch the trophy and hero-like status both in New Zealand and around the world.And just to prove it wasn't a fluke, he then went off to win the World Match Play Championship at Wentworth and he'll never have to buy a drink in NZ ever again.
And then, the man who's done it year after year, critics, opponents withstanding , the 7th Tour De France title for Lance Armstrong, his domination of perhaps the toughest sporting event is undeniable.There was little doubt that Armstrong was going to retire on a high, fastest in the time trials, strongest in the mountains and the captain of the fastest team, he duly destroyed his rivals on the streets of France.The lingering cloud of doping still hovers above Armstrong but his talent has never been in doubt.
I can almost see it now, 2006, the year of the the FIFA world cup, the biggest gratification of them all and the Winter Olympics at Torino, along with the rest of the usual happenings.Its bound to be a cracker of a game.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Have you seen my dream ?
I was feeling too lazy to sleep that night,as i walked upto her i could hear the breathe of her hair, embalmed with the smell of her braids the walls seemed to have cleared the humidity in the air.It looked as if her veins carried a message that words could not, words bowed down having carried the burden of her inner world.So often was i able to read her veins that, i, quite often, thought of the place where they met.
I'm blind now, she said.I heard the sound of the moon which it makes as it passes my window, i could feel the fibre of her body watching me through her naked skin, bone to bone, with her eyes closed.The previous night while the heavens beat upon her mud roof, the hens, poor creatures they, could not warm their eggs as the dark soil of the earth had turned into a brown sticky lifeform and wet their feet, came inside and pecked her eyes.
I went inside to prepare some soup, to escape the convulsive breathe of her hair, and looked around for my dream which i didn't see.I gathered the sound of the wind, the dark wind that never blows and never sits still and asked her if she has seen my dream, the one i didn't see as i was lighting the stove to prepare soup.No.
I must ask the other villages if they saw my dream go by, i told her, while i groped the cold walls that now smelt like cold goats cheese , blind as i was to find the door.No wait, let my face be warmed by the sun.
I'm blind now, she said.I heard the sound of the moon which it makes as it passes my window, i could feel the fibre of her body watching me through her naked skin, bone to bone, with her eyes closed.The previous night while the heavens beat upon her mud roof, the hens, poor creatures they, could not warm their eggs as the dark soil of the earth had turned into a brown sticky lifeform and wet their feet, came inside and pecked her eyes.
I went inside to prepare some soup, to escape the convulsive breathe of her hair, and looked around for my dream which i didn't see.I gathered the sound of the wind, the dark wind that never blows and never sits still and asked her if she has seen my dream, the one i didn't see as i was lighting the stove to prepare soup.No.
I must ask the other villages if they saw my dream go by, i told her, while i groped the cold walls that now smelt like cold goats cheese , blind as i was to find the door.No wait, let my face be warmed by the sun.
Monday, December 19, 2005
(is it) The end of the world
I never thought i would actually say this, but football has become "boring and meaningless".Due to a certain rich oligarch, who happened to buy a football club because he was running out of things to buy.Its horrible when you see a club scoring a goal - sometimes two, and then defending for an entire quarter, and even 2 quarters of an hour.And this has been happening week after week, and doesn't look as if its going to end.
Winning is important, and possibly the only thing that occupies the mind of top rung managers, but are we as fans paying the price to see our clubs win.Football has actally become so monotonous that even watching the english cricket team play sounds interesting, relatively.
I'm not entirely happy with the fact that Alonso will be joining us (McLaren) in 2007.In F1 you can never have two world champions, and with that you can't have two contenders in the same team.For me Kimi is the man, and i believe that it'll be him who will leave come 2007.
It was a delight to hear the Steve Slater say the phrase "The cold blue eyes of Mika Hakkinen", for one of the most wonderfully said statements in sports commentary (Eddy will agree).After Mika left came Kimi, same cold blue eyes, ruthless in approach and brilliant behind the wheel, it was as close to a Mika reincarnate we got, and i was extremely happy with that.
Alonso is a great driver, a superb champion but he doesn't have the raw, ruthless personality that i was used to in Mika, and frankly i'll find it extremely difficult to see him, and not Kimi as the frontline driver for us.Either of Kimi and Alonso won't agree to be wingman and if they do it'll be an insult to a fantastic sport.Football already has become "boring and meaningless" at times, it would be very dissappointing to see the same happening to F1.
Winning is important, and possibly the only thing that occupies the mind of top rung managers, but are we as fans paying the price to see our clubs win.Football has actally become so monotonous that even watching the english cricket team play sounds interesting, relatively.
I'm not entirely happy with the fact that Alonso will be joining us (McLaren) in 2007.In F1 you can never have two world champions, and with that you can't have two contenders in the same team.For me Kimi is the man, and i believe that it'll be him who will leave come 2007.
It was a delight to hear the Steve Slater say the phrase "The cold blue eyes of Mika Hakkinen", for one of the most wonderfully said statements in sports commentary (Eddy will agree).After Mika left came Kimi, same cold blue eyes, ruthless in approach and brilliant behind the wheel, it was as close to a Mika reincarnate we got, and i was extremely happy with that.
Alonso is a great driver, a superb champion but he doesn't have the raw, ruthless personality that i was used to in Mika, and frankly i'll find it extremely difficult to see him, and not Kimi as the frontline driver for us.Either of Kimi and Alonso won't agree to be wingman and if they do it'll be an insult to a fantastic sport.Football already has become "boring and meaningless" at times, it would be very dissappointing to see the same happening to F1.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
War Within The Worlds.
Fabulous news ! India has been granted a permanent seat in the security council of the league of nations where in summers people die of heatstroke, of cold in winters and also manage to die coz of excessive rains.
Seasonal deaths are not a strange occurance in India, to think of it what is (strange).People here die of various reasons - hunger, poverty and even affluence.But thats not what is leaving me perplexed.
I cannot think of an antonym for the word "developing" and i'd like to believe that i'll be able to come up with a word before desperation directs me to rogets.
We regularly identify ours as a developing nation.The numbers of the poor, illiterate and the homeless have all increased since 1950 and i don't think that qualifies as developing.Infact its quite the opposite.
In our seemingly continual pursuit of vanity these days the government is busy lobbying for a permanent seat of the UN security council, even without the veto.We are still the same country where half of the people don't have direct access to clean drinking water.
There are a whole lot more people in this country who need clean water, basic sanitation and two square meals per day than those who want a UNSC seat and cheaper imported super luxury cars.
In fifty years the number of children who dream of getting a good education is more than those who do and even today we spend more on heavy industries and making guns than n primary education.50 years of poverty has still not managed to change government perspectives and financial outlays.Till about 10 years it wasn't even possible to start a school with a loan based on capital deficit.Of course banks would pour money on you if you wanted to make springs.
We are celebrating the end of the WW2, of the allied landing at Normandie - the single most planned strategic mission to kill people and of the nuclear attacks.Thats when the other war began, we realised our ambitions and dreams as countries and not as the world.De-globalization.
The allies were a sign of Globalization, raw material flew in from all possible countries , India included.Infact Indian beryl was used in the atomic bomb to start the flow of uranium neutrons to produce nuclear fission. The rare earths in the sands of Kerala went into making titanium, used on American navy vessels. By one account, India provided $640 million worth of material (in 1945 prices). The world was fighting against a common enemy.
Nations were classified into the two power blocks and leaders decided that separation was necessary for individual development and world domination.We decided to exist as countries and not as people.
Change is continual and with GATT in 1993 the world was once again opening up to globalisation.Business leaders realised that survival meant expansion.After polluting and exploiting your country you have to go to other countries and do the same.Thats not as bad as i morbidly made is sound.Political leaders were convinced that prosperity meant growing economies and that meant globalization.
Thomas Friedman famously said that no two countries with McDonalds can ever go to war with each other.Afghanistan and Iraq didn't and Iran doesn't have any Mc's.Today along with economic depressions we are also fighting terrorism.Globalization is the answer to terrorism, open up economies , create employment and make sure all the kids play football.The world is fighting a common enemy.
Seasonal deaths are not a strange occurance in India, to think of it what is (strange).People here die of various reasons - hunger, poverty and even affluence.But thats not what is leaving me perplexed.
I cannot think of an antonym for the word "developing" and i'd like to believe that i'll be able to come up with a word before desperation directs me to rogets.
We regularly identify ours as a developing nation.The numbers of the poor, illiterate and the homeless have all increased since 1950 and i don't think that qualifies as developing.Infact its quite the opposite.
In our seemingly continual pursuit of vanity these days the government is busy lobbying for a permanent seat of the UN security council, even without the veto.We are still the same country where half of the people don't have direct access to clean drinking water.
There are a whole lot more people in this country who need clean water, basic sanitation and two square meals per day than those who want a UNSC seat and cheaper imported super luxury cars.
In fifty years the number of children who dream of getting a good education is more than those who do and even today we spend more on heavy industries and making guns than n primary education.50 years of poverty has still not managed to change government perspectives and financial outlays.Till about 10 years it wasn't even possible to start a school with a loan based on capital deficit.Of course banks would pour money on you if you wanted to make springs.
We are celebrating the end of the WW2, of the allied landing at Normandie - the single most planned strategic mission to kill people and of the nuclear attacks.Thats when the other war began, we realised our ambitions and dreams as countries and not as the world.De-globalization.
The allies were a sign of Globalization, raw material flew in from all possible countries , India included.Infact Indian beryl was used in the atomic bomb to start the flow of uranium neutrons to produce nuclear fission. The rare earths in the sands of Kerala went into making titanium, used on American navy vessels. By one account, India provided $640 million worth of material (in 1945 prices). The world was fighting against a common enemy.
Nations were classified into the two power blocks and leaders decided that separation was necessary for individual development and world domination.We decided to exist as countries and not as people.
Change is continual and with GATT in 1993 the world was once again opening up to globalisation.Business leaders realised that survival meant expansion.After polluting and exploiting your country you have to go to other countries and do the same.Thats not as bad as i morbidly made is sound.Political leaders were convinced that prosperity meant growing economies and that meant globalization.
Thomas Friedman famously said that no two countries with McDonalds can ever go to war with each other.Afghanistan and Iraq didn't and Iran doesn't have any Mc's.Today along with economic depressions we are also fighting terrorism.Globalization is the answer to terrorism, open up economies , create employment and make sure all the kids play football.The world is fighting a common enemy.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Lets Rape
Move over cricket, Indian men have a new pastime : Raping.Raping women to be precise.Everyone gets raped, mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends, grandmothers, babies.Infact rapes of 6 month old babies is routine these days.And we are good at it, moving cars, trucks, trains, no place isn't bad enough.Politicians, cops, teachers, priests, brothers, uncles, friends, soldiers, strangers, everyone rapes.Infact we need to make a constitutional ammendment that “ Every Indian male with enough juice in his balls can rape”.With secularism reaching new hieghts under Mr.Narendra Modi , people of all religions, castes can rape.All you need isn't love but a dick.
We also have manages consistency, we rape everyday, every hour.Soon women will be measured in the census as Raped/ To be Raped.India will soon be the next raping superpower.Who needs a high literacy rate or a growing per capita income, We want more rapes.SRZ's ( Special Raping Zones) should be setup, infact raping should be introduced in schools.Its better to give our bright future a flying start.
Rape is the solution to all our problems, land disputes, family pride, personal arguments.Rape dissolves them all.Infact the Indian army personel who raped girls in Kashmir/Sri Lanka should be sent to resolve the India – Pakistan dispute.
Theres a whole new industry brewing up , Bollywood is already making a movie on a teen raped in broad daylight by a cop.Ironically raping doesn't need a whole lot of exposure, its already widespread.Infact open a daily newspaper and theres a rape on every page.There can infact be a newspaper dedicated completely to rape, The Raping Times sounds enriching,
Rape has always been a part of our (in)human history.All cultures have a history of rape.During all wars the winning army ravaged the women of the losers.In Bosnia women stood is queues as soldiers raped them one by one.We have a history of male superiority and aggressive behaviour.A rapist wasn't even publicly looked down upon.Rape is as common as mythology and invasion are to human culture.Prevalent norms accepted sex, rather forced sex as the inescapable right of the conqueror.
Sad as it might sound but rape has been the norm and not the exception.Genetically we were programmed to and accept rape.That has to stop.Like an epidemic of alarming proportions, it has to be contained and eradicated.
I don't know the exact numbers but some women get raped because some men want to rape.There might be women who want to be raped, Samna – the ( drowning ) Shiv Sena mouthpiece says that women who wear western clothes want to be raped, still without a ready man they would be pretty helpless.
Rape of course is very fundamentally forced intercourse.There are discussions if it is physical/physiological/sociological, i think its a bit of all of that and more.Rape is criminal in its nature and its being.It is a grievous inhuman act against the body of a person and the ethics of humanity.it is violence in its most violent form.A rapist does not deserve a second chance, he doesn't need our sympathy and under no circumstances must be forgiven.Hang him by his hyperactive dick, i'd say.
We also have manages consistency, we rape everyday, every hour.Soon women will be measured in the census as Raped/ To be Raped.India will soon be the next raping superpower.Who needs a high literacy rate or a growing per capita income, We want more rapes.SRZ's ( Special Raping Zones) should be setup, infact raping should be introduced in schools.Its better to give our bright future a flying start.
Rape is the solution to all our problems, land disputes, family pride, personal arguments.Rape dissolves them all.Infact the Indian army personel who raped girls in Kashmir/Sri Lanka should be sent to resolve the India – Pakistan dispute.
Theres a whole new industry brewing up , Bollywood is already making a movie on a teen raped in broad daylight by a cop.Ironically raping doesn't need a whole lot of exposure, its already widespread.Infact open a daily newspaper and theres a rape on every page.There can infact be a newspaper dedicated completely to rape, The Raping Times sounds enriching,
Rape has always been a part of our (in)human history.All cultures have a history of rape.During all wars the winning army ravaged the women of the losers.In Bosnia women stood is queues as soldiers raped them one by one.We have a history of male superiority and aggressive behaviour.A rapist wasn't even publicly looked down upon.Rape is as common as mythology and invasion are to human culture.Prevalent norms accepted sex, rather forced sex as the inescapable right of the conqueror.
Sad as it might sound but rape has been the norm and not the exception.Genetically we were programmed to and accept rape.That has to stop.Like an epidemic of alarming proportions, it has to be contained and eradicated.
I don't know the exact numbers but some women get raped because some men want to rape.There might be women who want to be raped, Samna – the ( drowning ) Shiv Sena mouthpiece says that women who wear western clothes want to be raped, still without a ready man they would be pretty helpless.
Rape of course is very fundamentally forced intercourse.There are discussions if it is physical/physiological/sociological, i think its a bit of all of that and more.Rape is criminal in its nature and its being.It is a grievous inhuman act against the body of a person and the ethics of humanity.it is violence in its most violent form.A rapist does not deserve a second chance, he doesn't need our sympathy and under no circumstances must be forgiven.Hang him by his hyperactive dick, i'd say.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Football - The year that was
Sometimes i think Bill Murray should have been dutch.He actually missed out on Groundhog Day, De Boer actually missed that penalty in 98, get the point.
The dutch have a long tradition of glorius failures.I wanted PSV to win, Milan with all their pedigree and tradition were made to look mediocre over 180 minutes.Ambrosini scored and the rossoneri will visit Istanbul in 2 weeks time.It almost made me cry, PSV were the better team, and played some very good and some not very bad football but they lost to Milan who played badly.Thats how great teams are, even when they play badly they manage to get something out of the game, i'll come back to this later.
The same story with a different cast in the UEFA CUP, after 122 minutes of football filled with promise and hope, a freak goal, another dutch team ousted from a European tournament.
Just when i was about to forget that Barca were a first tier team in Europe, a certain Ronaldinho came along and tommorow will lead Barcelona to their first title of the century.He scores magical goals, sets people up,takes care of the dead ball situations and also scores impossible goals in impossible situations.
Barcelona cannot win at the Mestalla, said Helguera.The ball fell fast from the sky to the edge of the area, Ronaldinho leaned back and brought his right leg over and across the ball with amazing grace, connecting with a volley of outrageous difficulty and sending the ball whooshing past Valencia's right-hand post.
The home supporters, normally a voluble and aggressive lot to visiting teams, simply remained silent. It was a telling moment, a collective acceptance of the fact that they were witnessing greatness. You don't jeer at greatness, because it doesn't come along very often.
He hushed the Mestalla - no easy feat in possibly the noisiest stadium in Spain.Barcelona won by 2 goals.
My brother is a Real fan, if you don't know what Real is you better stop reading this article and continue breathing, if you must.The decline began when they sold makka, Claude Makelele to Chelsea - who by the way prospered since his arrival, ask Terry and Lampard what he means to them - Fiorentino Perez , famously said 'We've just transferred a player who can only pass the ball four yards and bought another [Beckham] who can pass it forty'.Thats when you knew he had lost his way.
Real will go trophyless for the second consecutive season, thats some sort of a record in itself.They have been mediocre all this season, till Gravesen came along.Things have been upward, even Raul started playing better, even scoring but then it was too late.The catalan juggernaut wasn't going to be stopped.
Juventus and Milan have combined to win 11 of the last 13 Scudettos, but this is the first time the two have gone head-to-head; Lazio, Inter, Parma and Roma being either club's competitors on those previous occasions.In fact there is some sort of an alliance between the two, once that will sustain some damage.
Juventus don't have to worry about putting in a great display of football, they rarely are brilliant.Milan have more talent, more firepower and the worlds only one man strike force in Andriy Shevchenko.For my money he has been the best striker for some time, he scores with a mediocre midfield, without one and also marries a playboy playmate.Then theres Gianluigi Buffon, a lot of managers around the world pray to god to find someone half as good as him.
After last weeks defeat by Juve, Milan know that the title race is as good as over.Always a difficult side to break down, their 27th minute lead from a well-taken goal by David Trezeguet, who pounced to head in a Del Piero overhead kick of a cross from the left, meant they could play out the rest of the game in their favourite fashion: closing down spaces, putting at times nine men behind the ball and defending indepth,Commiting nasty little fouls in midfield that have been breaking down opponents' counter-attacking all season - statistics, who mean less in soccer than in other sports anyway, show Juve have committed more fouls than anybody else this season.
Milan will still play and possibly win the Champions League, with Nesta, Stam and Maldini forming the heart of defence its very difficult to see the reds scoring, especially without a good striker.Maldini might win his 4th Champions league winners medal, when you are the best left back of your generation, theres a standard you have to live upto.
In England for the first time in a decade we saw 3 times with a fighting chance of winning the league.Chelski fuelled by the billions of a certain russian, frustrated, fluttered and destroyed everything in their way to win the league.The fact that United and Arsenal were both out of form, Arse still managing bits and pieces of their form at times, United have been mediocre all season.With the Glazer takeover looming large over Old Trafford, the arrival of the american will mean hit the final nail in the coffin of the United era.One that will live long in the memories of many people.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Be afraid, Be very very afraid.
Be afraid, be very very afraid.Thats how Sachin Tendulkar likes to treat failure, i'm assuming over the years he's built up his courage for his recent form.The defintion of fear which to me makes a lot of sense is, fear is courage that has said its prayers.It does make fear look inevitable, inevitably, that it is.Lets talk about things that really scare me, we are talking about methi pakoda's, watermelon milkshakes and the top of the league stuff.Indian team losing to bangadesh, na not scared of that.Some supergeek trying to take over the world , na not scared of that either.Waking up one day to see am Brad Pitt, that should scare Brad not me.
There are things i'm really afraid of, lets talk about the China - North Korea love affair.China is a scary place, they invest $ 150 billion in infrastructure development every year ( roads, buildings, bridges etc , a lot of them).India has invested $ 200 billion in the same over ten years, at this rate we'll have Indians driving on the same roads as China by the time they give up driving and start flying.
Last weekend Chinese mobs threw stones and even managed to break windows at various Japanese targets, including the embassy in Beijing.Lets rewind to the Japanese attacks on China during the world war, the "Rape Of Nanking" and the obvious Japanese opposition to Chinese ambitions and regular one night stands with America.A Mob in China is very difficult to imagine, if the state decides that nobody downloads porn, nobody actually downloads porn.China has never forgiven Japan for his past and now its sending hints about the price they might have to pay.
North Korea, rather Nuclear powered North Korea is a threat and they have already declared that publicly.They have been courageous to say that , North Korea can attack America not only directly but also indirectly.This is what having balls made of Enriched Uranium can do to you.Terrorists with Nuclear Bombs, imagine homer simpson with an unlimited pass at mac's for life.Chinese remote controls which work best on North Korean Televisions and Governments already says that they can't help it.The question, do they really wanna ?
The declaration of Wen Jiabao, the Chinese premier, that India and China will the the " two pagoda's of economic might in the coming Asian century" implies that China is willing to go to any lenghts to assure its future.They are ready to reshape the border, and are already rooting for India's permanent security council seat.The deal with China includes "strategic partnership for peace and prosperity ,including expanded trade, border security even joint space exploration."Maybe they should just make Indo - Chinese weddings tax free.
I always thought Anu Malik had the most irritating voice when it comes to people, who sing for a living and actually manage to live by.Just when i thought i had hit rock bottom, the ground dropped down.
Next time you are watching football and the match gets boring, like for 90 minutes when arse and chelski were playing, switch over to a music channel.Chances are you'll see someone black, having fat legged pants, showing off his hilfiger underwear when the large pants is up to his ass.It's not just Black / White people, it's Filipino, Asian, Hispanic, Indian people that are getting into Rap music.Infact sometimes i don't understand what those people talk about, in the ebonic accent.So many brothers and sisters and still they manage to keep a racial crime rate above others.
Imagine a whole generation that likes 50 cents.The fact that 50 cents is actually worth more than 50 cents explains the number of Indian millionaires in America.The sub culture that has creeped into society, the hi/ho click, which includes my younger brother drives me crazy.Defined by the music they listen, enslaved for the rest of their young life till when they get old they realise what a waste its been.Hopefully.
It's like a tribal system in Africa, the person with the bigger drums/dicks get more respect.That's the way black people are, loud and obnoxious. I hate rap culture.When a white American dies its murder, when a black American dies its hate crime and there has to be a song about it.The lyrics of which i don't comprehend, the beat of which i don't catch but i do enjoy the semi naked girls moving their ass, sometimes.Maybe its the tolerance to this music that makes anal sex less painful to the other half of the species.Fine ass fucks.I'm afraid of the implications of this generation.
As the day dawns, and my fears go to sleep i like to think of the future.A future which doesn't neccesarily has to have a lot of resemblance to the past.
There are things i'm really afraid of, lets talk about the China - North Korea love affair.China is a scary place, they invest $ 150 billion in infrastructure development every year ( roads, buildings, bridges etc , a lot of them).India has invested $ 200 billion in the same over ten years, at this rate we'll have Indians driving on the same roads as China by the time they give up driving and start flying.
Last weekend Chinese mobs threw stones and even managed to break windows at various Japanese targets, including the embassy in Beijing.Lets rewind to the Japanese attacks on China during the world war, the "Rape Of Nanking" and the obvious Japanese opposition to Chinese ambitions and regular one night stands with America.A Mob in China is very difficult to imagine, if the state decides that nobody downloads porn, nobody actually downloads porn.China has never forgiven Japan for his past and now its sending hints about the price they might have to pay.
North Korea, rather Nuclear powered North Korea is a threat and they have already declared that publicly.They have been courageous to say that , North Korea can attack America not only directly but also indirectly.This is what having balls made of Enriched Uranium can do to you.Terrorists with Nuclear Bombs, imagine homer simpson with an unlimited pass at mac's for life.Chinese remote controls which work best on North Korean Televisions and Governments already says that they can't help it.The question, do they really wanna ?
The declaration of Wen Jiabao, the Chinese premier, that India and China will the the " two pagoda's of economic might in the coming Asian century" implies that China is willing to go to any lenghts to assure its future.They are ready to reshape the border, and are already rooting for India's permanent security council seat.The deal with China includes "strategic partnership for peace and prosperity ,including expanded trade, border security even joint space exploration."Maybe they should just make Indo - Chinese weddings tax free.
I always thought Anu Malik had the most irritating voice when it comes to people, who sing for a living and actually manage to live by.Just when i thought i had hit rock bottom, the ground dropped down.
Next time you are watching football and the match gets boring, like for 90 minutes when arse and chelski were playing, switch over to a music channel.Chances are you'll see someone black, having fat legged pants, showing off his hilfiger underwear when the large pants is up to his ass.It's not just Black / White people, it's Filipino, Asian, Hispanic, Indian people that are getting into Rap music.Infact sometimes i don't understand what those people talk about, in the ebonic accent.So many brothers and sisters and still they manage to keep a racial crime rate above others.
Imagine a whole generation that likes 50 cents.The fact that 50 cents is actually worth more than 50 cents explains the number of Indian millionaires in America.The sub culture that has creeped into society, the hi/ho click, which includes my younger brother drives me crazy.Defined by the music they listen, enslaved for the rest of their young life till when they get old they realise what a waste its been.Hopefully.
It's like a tribal system in Africa, the person with the bigger drums/dicks get more respect.That's the way black people are, loud and obnoxious. I hate rap culture.When a white American dies its murder, when a black American dies its hate crime and there has to be a song about it.The lyrics of which i don't comprehend, the beat of which i don't catch but i do enjoy the semi naked girls moving their ass, sometimes.Maybe its the tolerance to this music that makes anal sex less painful to the other half of the species.Fine ass fucks.I'm afraid of the implications of this generation.
As the day dawns, and my fears go to sleep i like to think of the future.A future which doesn't neccesarily has to have a lot of resemblance to the past.
Televisons Top Three Couples
Televison,the discovery that changed civilization like never beforeand prepared us to face the overwhleming force that we call theInternet.Romance has mostly been the ghetto of Classics, even movies (like shrek) but has never been associated a lot with television.Experts say the short duration of a weekly series can'talways make as good as an impact like a 2 hrs movie, i don't subscribeto any such veiws and notions.
How long does it take to create an eternally lasting romantic moment,if life could be planned so well there would be no divorces forone and chinese takeaways would run out of business.Based on my own incomprehensible notions and herculean beliefs i've decided to make my own list of romantic couples on television.
As usual i don't have and fixed parameters,no ideal fundamentals so don't worry about criticising, anything and everything adds up.
1. The Everlasting love of Trudy and Adrian Monk.
Eternity and Forever are two very different terms,forever can only last a life time (as if thats small enough).Trudy is dead,and that adds to this sublime romance.5 years after her death,Adrian can't get over her, he still misses her, still recalls her poems, can never stop talking about her, relates everything to his life as,"if Trudy was here.."perspective.Shes not on his mind, She is his mind.Its taken a toll on his life,hes suffering from OCD (obsessive complusive disorder) but he can't survive the fact that he's not in love with her.This is eternity, Hes separated the need of physical existence in love , a lovethat knows no boundaries.When U2 made the track,i'm not sure if they realised that a defective detective would walk away with top honors.
2. Milk, Toast, and Honey for Wendy and Bob
Can a great romance be detected early, i'd say great romances are always detected early its just the realisation that can even take a lifetime.When i saw Bob the Builder for the first time , i knew this couple was special and i've been hooked ever since. The perfect match we dream of, Shes Bobs Other half, that one person who finishes his sentences, someonewho really 'gets' his inner,(literally) constructive emotions.Smalltalks in between day long schedules of work, effortless sharing ofequipment, no arguments, surprise gifts this couple has it all.A bit ofcaring,sharing and a whole lot of loving,Roxete's lullaby of Milk Toast and Honey For Wendy and Bob.
3.Unchained Melody for the Penguin
What comprises a great Romance,tonnes of affection, unending foreplay, zillions of sweet nothings, Hours of wild love making,a family and a lot more.Penguins have all that and more.Beginning from the attracting game to dating, mating and the family part everything is a story in itself.
How do you keep from looking like just another big, clumsy, dickless, flightless bird in a tux?There are no Brad pitts,and even if one thinks he his, chances are the female kinds won't.Make a complete foolout of yourself to get her attention.
Next how are you going to move in for the kill? Do a droll little widdle waddle while making comical head movements from side to side —females find this irresistibly attractive. Don't be put off if she ignores you and begins grooming herself or observing her surroundings;she's just playing hard-to-get. Sidle up to her and walk around in a circle so she can see your fine black dinner jacket, your starched white shirt, your plump stout body and its comparatively tiny littlehead.
Diamonds are a girls best friend.Gift your prospective female a well-chosen pebble, preferably a shiny, multi-faceted one costing a wing and a flipper. If she accepts this as a token of your affection, the match is on. (If not, you may have picked an unready female o reven another male, a common mistake, lets start all over again.)
After enjoying a brisk cold-water swim or tobogganing together through the snow, it's time to eat. Walk several hundred miles for sushi (rawfish,just in case u didn't get the point) and bring some back for your lover. During dinner, look deeply into her tiny eyes. Notice the curve of her beak, the smell of fish on her breath. If you really want to make her feel like your "baby," try throwing up in her mouth. This foreplay actually lasts more than months.
In the end all the love you take,is equal to the love you make. Nowhead back to the nest for a wild night of hugging and beak-rubbing.Turn on the air conditioner, set the thermostat to 40° below zero and push the button marked "hurricane force winds." Begin by preening around your mate's neck and beak. When the two of you just can't stand how cute you are, break out in a Loud Mutual Display, waving your necks back and forth while cackling affectionately. These bundles of joy can actually keep doing that as if theres no tommorow,Even forget to copulate.
Lets assume that u copulate ,Have eggs ...What next. Stand out in thecold for two months balancing an egg on your feet.
Nothing but the eternal classic for the couples we need to learn a lot from.
Ps:This was written last year,i still find it very funny.
How long does it take to create an eternally lasting romantic moment,if life could be planned so well there would be no divorces forone and chinese takeaways would run out of business.Based on my own incomprehensible notions and herculean beliefs i've decided to make my own list of romantic couples on television.
As usual i don't have and fixed parameters,no ideal fundamentals so don't worry about criticising, anything and everything adds up.
1. The Everlasting love of Trudy and Adrian Monk.
Eternity and Forever are two very different terms,forever can only last a life time (as if thats small enough).Trudy is dead,and that adds to this sublime romance.5 years after her death,Adrian can't get over her, he still misses her, still recalls her poems, can never stop talking about her, relates everything to his life as,"if Trudy was here.."perspective.Shes not on his mind, She is his mind.Its taken a toll on his life,hes suffering from OCD (obsessive complusive disorder) but he can't survive the fact that he's not in love with her.This is eternity, Hes separated the need of physical existence in love , a lovethat knows no boundaries.When U2 made the track,i'm not sure if they realised that a defective detective would walk away with top honors.
2. Milk, Toast, and Honey for Wendy and Bob
Can a great romance be detected early, i'd say great romances are always detected early its just the realisation that can even take a lifetime.When i saw Bob the Builder for the first time , i knew this couple was special and i've been hooked ever since. The perfect match we dream of, Shes Bobs Other half, that one person who finishes his sentences, someonewho really 'gets' his inner,(literally) constructive emotions.Smalltalks in between day long schedules of work, effortless sharing ofequipment, no arguments, surprise gifts this couple has it all.A bit ofcaring,sharing and a whole lot of loving,Roxete's lullaby of Milk Toast and Honey For Wendy and Bob.
3.Unchained Melody for the Penguin
What comprises a great Romance,tonnes of affection, unending foreplay, zillions of sweet nothings, Hours of wild love making,a family and a lot more.Penguins have all that and more.Beginning from the attracting game to dating, mating and the family part everything is a story in itself.
How do you keep from looking like just another big, clumsy, dickless, flightless bird in a tux?There are no Brad pitts,and even if one thinks he his, chances are the female kinds won't.Make a complete foolout of yourself to get her attention.
Next how are you going to move in for the kill? Do a droll little widdle waddle while making comical head movements from side to side —females find this irresistibly attractive. Don't be put off if she ignores you and begins grooming herself or observing her surroundings;she's just playing hard-to-get. Sidle up to her and walk around in a circle so she can see your fine black dinner jacket, your starched white shirt, your plump stout body and its comparatively tiny littlehead.
Diamonds are a girls best friend.Gift your prospective female a well-chosen pebble, preferably a shiny, multi-faceted one costing a wing and a flipper. If she accepts this as a token of your affection, the match is on. (If not, you may have picked an unready female o reven another male, a common mistake, lets start all over again.)
After enjoying a brisk cold-water swim or tobogganing together through the snow, it's time to eat. Walk several hundred miles for sushi (rawfish,just in case u didn't get the point) and bring some back for your lover. During dinner, look deeply into her tiny eyes. Notice the curve of her beak, the smell of fish on her breath. If you really want to make her feel like your "baby," try throwing up in her mouth. This foreplay actually lasts more than months.
In the end all the love you take,is equal to the love you make. Nowhead back to the nest for a wild night of hugging and beak-rubbing.Turn on the air conditioner, set the thermostat to 40° below zero and push the button marked "hurricane force winds." Begin by preening around your mate's neck and beak. When the two of you just can't stand how cute you are, break out in a Loud Mutual Display, waving your necks back and forth while cackling affectionately. These bundles of joy can actually keep doing that as if theres no tommorow,Even forget to copulate.
Lets assume that u copulate ,Have eggs ...What next. Stand out in thecold for two months balancing an egg on your feet.
Nothing but the eternal classic for the couples we need to learn a lot from.
Ps:This was written last year,i still find it very funny.
An Italian in New Delhi
Its been a wonderful year.Not very humane,but then whats humane these
days except southern hemisphere rugby.
What i find very delightful and very pleasing is that what i hoped
(and predicted) by way of an italian defeating the fundamentalists
came true.Sonia , like a true italian believed in defence.She spent
more time building her fort then trying to shit on others and when the
time came, she attacked as well.And as they, things came tumbling after.
She marched into delhi, kicked atal not only out of his office but also
made him an outcast in his party but was not done yet.After that she
came into our very own city and kicked bal's balls (lol, now doesn't
that sound good).
Yes,i'm biased and as incumbent the present government is, i prefer
them instead of the religious fundamentalists.An idealogist without an
ideology is more "humane" then fundamentalists with irrational (read
religious) beliefs.
Looking at the aftermath,Sonia didn't only defeat the BJP but with
some very clever allying has now attacked at the very heart of the
party.The clamhead advani is as good as leader as a cockroach trying
to win a beauty contest,and ther appears to be no
future/backbone/present for the party.Infact the left is acting more
as the opposition then the saffronheads.They've lost more then just
the election.Abput Sankaracharya, yea fuk his case too.
In Maharashtra,the sena has become an embarrassment and apart from the
BMC they don't control anything(of course, we are leaving them for the
streets).In fact even with against a government with a debt of above 1
Lakh crore they cannot hope/expect/dream to throw them out.I'm sure
you remember the meeting Sonia had with Sharad Pawar.
Inspite of all the above,my utter disgust at the mere existence of the
muslim hating saffron heads its not the Congress which has won the
election.Its the allies like the Left which have assumed critical
importance and have been recognized.Like a niche crowd which has
existed from the times of independence and today to the the opposition
that that supports as well.I believe that this is for the good of my
beloved country, and as i always have i will dream of a better future.
days except southern hemisphere rugby.
What i find very delightful and very pleasing is that what i hoped
(and predicted) by way of an italian defeating the fundamentalists
came true.Sonia , like a true italian believed in defence.She spent
more time building her fort then trying to shit on others and when the
time came, she attacked as well.And as they, things came tumbling after.
She marched into delhi, kicked atal not only out of his office but also
made him an outcast in his party but was not done yet.After that she
came into our very own city and kicked bal's balls (lol, now doesn't
that sound good).
Yes,i'm biased and as incumbent the present government is, i prefer
them instead of the religious fundamentalists.An idealogist without an
ideology is more "humane" then fundamentalists with irrational (read
religious) beliefs.
Looking at the aftermath,Sonia didn't only defeat the BJP but with
some very clever allying has now attacked at the very heart of the
party.The clamhead advani is as good as leader as a cockroach trying
to win a beauty contest,and ther appears to be no
future/backbone/present for the party.Infact the left is acting more
as the opposition then the saffronheads.They've lost more then just
the election.Abput Sankaracharya, yea fuk his case too.
In Maharashtra,the sena has become an embarrassment and apart from the
BMC they don't control anything(of course, we are leaving them for the
streets).In fact even with against a government with a debt of above 1
Lakh crore they cannot hope/expect/dream to throw them out.I'm sure
you remember the meeting Sonia had with Sharad Pawar.
Inspite of all the above,my utter disgust at the mere existence of the
muslim hating saffron heads its not the Congress which has won the
election.Its the allies like the Left which have assumed critical
importance and have been recognized.Like a niche crowd which has
existed from the times of independence and today to the the opposition
that that supports as well.I believe that this is for the good of my
beloved country, and as i always have i will dream of a better future.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
The Poor, The Black and The Dead.
It official, India has more billionaires than the U.K.We also have more poor than the whole of Europe put together.There are different versions to the story, the World Bank says that about 35 % of Indians live under the poverty line, economists like Surjit Bhalla say that the poor hardly constitute 13 %.I'd like to invite opinion on that, what do you think defines as "being poor".My cousin thinks anyone who doesn't have a cell phone is poor, she's 5 and has recently got one.
This is in response to a colleague, who remarked that Black isn't a colour, its simply nothing.
Shes partially right, Black isn't just a colour.Its a philosophy, a way of life.Close your eyes and what colour do you see, Black.Its the colour of your inner self, your thoughts reflected upon you.Black is the prevailing background for the movie of thoughts playing in your mind.
Black is a colour of acceptance, it accepts all the other colours and still doesn't lose its shade.The night sky is black, its a reflection of our world.Its Black.
Black signifies change, theres a reason you move from darkness to light.To move towards light you need darkness in the first place.Black gives infinity hope about its existence.
Terry Schiavo died a few hours back, biologically dead.They took off the tube and because she couldn't eat on her own, she died.She didn't do a lot when she was "alive", barely nudging survival.Can you call Michael Schiavo’s decision to remove Terri’s feeding tube "murder"?, Yes. It seems selfish to hook her up to a machine in the faint hope that she’ll return to form.This guy has endured fifteen years of endless headaches and lawsuits. That’s love. True, he moved on and started another family. But he also turned down a million-dollar offer to walk away and wash his hands of this. It’s hard to imagine him doing that unless he truly believes this is what Terri would have wanted.
On the other hand, is this what she wanted? Michael Schiavo says yes; Terri’s parents say no. I’m cannot question her husband’s motives, but I understand why her parents are. After all, his decision to remove her feeding tube is based on something she told him over a decade ago. No one will ever be able to prove it.He could've walked away and left her with people ready to feed her, but he did not.He believed that this was what she wanted.I'm not taking sides.
This is in response to a colleague, who remarked that Black isn't a colour, its simply nothing.
Shes partially right, Black isn't just a colour.Its a philosophy, a way of life.Close your eyes and what colour do you see, Black.Its the colour of your inner self, your thoughts reflected upon you.Black is the prevailing background for the movie of thoughts playing in your mind.
Black is a colour of acceptance, it accepts all the other colours and still doesn't lose its shade.The night sky is black, its a reflection of our world.Its Black.
Black signifies change, theres a reason you move from darkness to light.To move towards light you need darkness in the first place.Black gives infinity hope about its existence.
Terry Schiavo died a few hours back, biologically dead.They took off the tube and because she couldn't eat on her own, she died.She didn't do a lot when she was "alive", barely nudging survival.Can you call Michael Schiavo’s decision to remove Terri’s feeding tube "murder"?, Yes. It seems selfish to hook her up to a machine in the faint hope that she’ll return to form.This guy has endured fifteen years of endless headaches and lawsuits. That’s love. True, he moved on and started another family. But he also turned down a million-dollar offer to walk away and wash his hands of this. It’s hard to imagine him doing that unless he truly believes this is what Terri would have wanted.
On the other hand, is this what she wanted? Michael Schiavo says yes; Terri’s parents say no. I’m cannot question her husband’s motives, but I understand why her parents are. After all, his decision to remove her feeding tube is based on something she told him over a decade ago. No one will ever be able to prove it.He could've walked away and left her with people ready to feed her, but he did not.He believed that this was what she wanted.I'm not taking sides.
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